His Resurrection

What a nice Easter celebration I had. My dad made his "famous" Swedish pancakes (like crepes) for breakfast this morning, and my mom (*ahem* the Easter Bunny) hid our Easter baskets. I felt like a little kid searching for mine, so that was fun. :) We had my mom's side of the family over for dinner, so it was really nice to see everyone. I think one of the highlights of the meal was the edible (jelly bean) napkin holders. Nice job, mom! :)

I'd like to share something that my pastor said at the Easter Vigil last night. It's something that I'd like to keep in mind this week as we continue to celebrate Easter. He said that Jesus is continuously knocking on the door of our hearts, asking us to let Him in. No matter how many times we've let Him in in the past, He keeps asking if we want more. Letting Him in just once is not enough, I've learned. We need to respond to every knock on the door of our hearts. He wants to keep giving us more of Him. More of His grace, love, joy, peace, strength, mercy, and every other blessing He has to offer. I recognize that I need more of all of those things...I can never have enough.

What a special day this is in the church. Christ has conquered death and sin. He has risen from the dead! He has done this because of His limitless love for me. For you. For all of His children. Let's not forget the wonderful miracle of His resurrection! Praise Him! :)

CHRIST IS RISEN!

Christ is risen from the dead, trampled over death by death!

Hear the bells ringing, they're singing "Christ is risen from the dead!"

Behold the lamb, our sacrifice. Once bound in death, now stands alive!


I just got back from the Easter Vigil at Christ the King, and once again, my mind is completely blown. I am always amazed by how much grace God pours out and how much the Holy Spirit blesses us every year, and this year was no different. Everything about the Easter Vigil is wonderful...the 7 readings, the wonderful music, the litany of the saints, the baptisms, the renewal of all of our baptismal vows, the reception of the new Catholics into the Church, the confirmations, the Eucharist (of course!)...all of it. One of the moments I really love is the Gloria (Glory to God in the highest...) after the 7 readings. The room slowly lights back up (both literally and spiritually), and the music gets louder and more upbeat. I really felt the Lord's presence as we sang that tonight. The church was just so alive! I also really love the Gospel Acclamation, which tonight was taken from Psalm 118. It's wonderful to say "Alleluia" so many times after not saying it all throughout Lent. :)

This is such an exciting time of year, and I really felt like I was able to grasp the true meaning of Easter. It's not about jelly beans (although I do love them), it's not about the Easter Bunny, and it's not about Easter egg hunts. It's about Jesus Christ, the savior of the world who lived and died for us. It's about His resurrection on the third day. It's about His revelation to His people and the resulting eradication of our sins. Praise Him, the One who has conquered death and sin! He has risen from the dead!

I hope you all have a blessed Easter tomorrow and enjoy spending time with your families. Though you may be surrounded with candy, eggs, and other Easter treats, I pray that you keep in mind the true meaning of this special day. THE RESURRECTION! JESUS CHRIST HAS RISEN! HE IS RISEN INDEED!

Lord, thank You for revealing Yourself to me in such a special way at the Easter Vigil tonight. I pray that You keep my mind fixed on You tomorrow and every day thereafter.

The Passion and Death

I suggest that you listen to this as you read: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQmGs3L1bvs&feature=related. I'm sorry I can't figure out how to post links here, but copy and paste that URL into your browser. It is a piece called "Crucifixion" from the Passion of the Christ soundtrack.

Today is Good Friday, and the church celebrates the passion and death of our Lord Jesus Christ. Appropriately, my parents and I watched The Passion of the Christ before we went to the Good Friday mass at Christ the King this afternoon. This has been a tradition in my family for the past several years now. The movie is very emotionally draining and intense, but it is a good reminder of what Jesus went through for us. It's really sad to think that the movie is just a glimpse of what He went through and that it is nowhere near close to the pain that He endured for our salvation. I cringe every time I see the scene in the movie where Jesus is scourged. My eyes flood with tears every single time. How could someone love me that much that He would endure that much pain? And coming from a different perspective, how could those men scourge Jesus so much...and laugh about it? How could they use those horrible weapons? How could they spit in His eye? How could they drive that crown of thorns into His head? Ugh...it makes my stomach twist every time. Another scene that really gets me is when Jesus is walking with His cross and his mother Mary sees Him fall. We immediately see a flashback to a time when Jesus is a young boy. He is playing and falls down, and Mary comes rushing after Him calling out His name. She has a look of motherly panic on her face as she rushes to Jesus' side and then says, "I'm here." When it flashes back to Jesus carrying His cross, Mary does the same thing...she rushes over to Him and says, "I'm here." It's really a beautiful scene and captures the love between Jesus and His mother Mary.

Mass this afternoon at Christ the King was really beautiful. There was a lot of time for reflection, and I really appreciated the fact that the imagery of The Passion of the Christ was still fresh in my mind from just having watched it. This allowed me to really visualize the Gospel as it was read aloud during mass.

Lord, thank You for what You did for us on the cross. No words, no actions, no thing could ever show You how much I appreciate what You did. Thank You for the opportunities You gave me today to reflect on your passion and death. I pray that You open my heart to receive more of You during the Easter vigil mass tomorrow evening. Amen.

A Big Strong Arm

I went to bed a little stressed out last night. My mind was just racing and I couldn't relax and go to sleep. I was thinking about quite a few things...but today was the main focus. My mom is planning a graduation party for me in May, and she wanted to mail out the invitations as soon as possible. I designed them on my computer this week, but I guess I didn't realize there was a rush to mail them out. My mom wanted me to get them printed and have them mailed by either today or tomorrow. And this weekend my schedule is super crazy because of the way my work shifts merge with the Easter Triduum masses. To make a long story short, I got up an hour early this morning and went to Kinkos to print the invitations and they turned out beautifully. :) The man that worked with me was very helpful and knowledgeable. Yeah, he was just doing his job, but he was much more "in the know" than the guy I tried to work with last night at Kinkos. So I printed the invitations, found envelopes, stuffed all the invites into the envelopes, and then dropped them off at my mom's work...plus I made it to work at about 11:23 (7 minutes early!). Praise God for perfect timing. He really blessed me with a productive morning and I am so thankful for that. Needless to say, I was much less stressed out today than I was last night. :)

Work went pretty darn well today. I think the sunshine had a good effect on everyone...my coworkers, my supervisors & managers, AND the Costco members. Praise God for THAT! :) Also, when I walked in to work I noticed that there was a part time position available in our Hearing Aid Center. Even though it would only be for the summer (since I leave at the end of August), I'm pretty sure I'm going to put in for the position. Not only did I take an Audiology class as part of my undergrad at Eastern, but speech pathology and hearing (audiology) go hand-in-hand. I think it'll look good on my future resume if I work in a hearing aid center. I would really appreciate it if you could all pray that everything with that goes well.

We had our UCO Good Friday Vigil tonight, and it was greater than I had anticipated. I guess I don't really know what I was expecting, but not this. There was a pretty great turnout, and I really felt the Lord's presence. Because I am part of the UCO Worship Team, a partner (Angela) and I had to come up with a meditation for the group. We picked "The Messiah will be beaten, mocked, and spat upon" from the Messianic Prophecies and talked about how this is kind of opposite the way we typically view Jesus. We worship Him. We don't think about the way people spat on Him. We praise His name, not think about how people mocked Him. And we embrace Him. We don't think about the fact that He was beaten. Jesus suffered so much for us and truly was an example of what it means to endure all trials and just place everything in the hands of the Father. The other members of the Worship Team came up with other meditations based on some of the other Messianic Prophecies and they were all so awesome. It was great to have the little choir singing after every meditation, too. We have such talented singers in UCO! Good job to everyone who sang! Thank you for using your talents to serve God and us in UCO. :) The night ended with praise and worship on the diag in Ann Arbor, and we had two random students join us, which was pretty awesome.

I'm so happy that God is my deliverer and my strength. He carries me out of a crazy world and a racing mind and just lets me rest in His presence. He puts His big strong arm around me and lets me lay my head on His shoulder. Then He tells me, "Just rest your pretty little head, my daughter. Everything will be just fine." And that--is true bliss.

Lord, help me to know that You really are the source of all peace and rest. Keep reminding me every day that I can live stress-free and worry-free if I just abandon this life and aim for Your plan. Amen.

Defend Us in Battle

Tonight was a lot of fun. A group of our friends got together at the Blue Tractor to come watch Lina and me perform at Open Mic night, and I was happily overwhelmed by how many showed up. It was nice to eat with everyone and to just hang out and have a good time. Patti and Ralph, who are pretty much our second parents here in Ypsi, came out too! And Patti brought some of her amazing cookies with her. Bless her heart. :)

Tomorrow starts the Easter Triduum masses (Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and the Easter Vigil) at Christ the King, and I'm very much looking forward to them. It's always a really great time in the church and I love spending it with my family. I look forward to learning more about the Lord's passion and about how much He loves me. And then I really love celebrating His resurrection. Can't wait!

I pray tonight that God would give me peace as I head into this weekend. Usually around awesome times like these is when I experience a lot of spiritual warfare. The devil starts deceiving my heart and mind and giving me a negative attitude and a lot of apathy toward my prayer times. I pray that with God's strength I will be able to fight off any ways that the devil tries to steal my joy. Come Holy Spirit, come with Your fire! Allow my mind to focus only on You and on nothing else. Remove any distractions from my heart and my mind that may be taking my attention away from You. With that, I pray for St. Michael's intercession.

"St. Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray.
And do Thou, O Prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God,
cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen."

In the Spirit

Today was a really great day. I woke up at a relatively decent time and had a pretty relaxing morning. Then I got down to business and started cleaning out my room and throwing stuff away. I'm moving out of my apartment next week, so I'm trying to get a bit of a head start. So far so good...I've thrown away a couple bags of trash and I have the whole top shelf of my closet cleared off! :) After a while of cleaning, I had a second interview on Skype with one of the GAP program directors in Dublin. It was a bit (okay, a lot) more intense than the last interview, as the questions were way more in-depth, but it went well. I guess I'm a little bit more nervous now for how the year will go. Judging by the questions, I can tell I'm going to be in for a lot of stretching and personal boundary-pushing. But I know that will be a good thing. I need to get out of this comfy rut I'm in.

After my interview I hung around the apartment and watched Moulin Rouge with Lina. Well, I watched the movie, she took a nap. :) It's a weird movie, to say the least, but I really love the music. That's about all I watch it for. Oh...and Ewan McGregor. ;) Jennifer came over a bit later and went to UCO with me, so that was fun. This was the last prayer meeting of the semester, and it was awesome. Seriously, the Holy Spirit was so present and alive in us tonight. Claire gave a really great talk about what it means to truly abide in the Lord and just be in His presence. She talked about wreckless abandon for the Lord and what that looks like...basically abandoning our will and living His. I can definitely apply that to my fears about my GAP year next year. Who cares what I think or what's comfortable to me? I need to do what the Lord wants for me. Claire also said this, which was inspiring to me: "If I don't follow the Lord's will for my life, I'm the one that's losing." I liked that. Thanks Claire for your wisdom!

The worship time after Claire's talk was phenomenal. There was lots of singing in the Spirit, which is one of my favorite parts of the worship times at UCO. If you're not familiar with singing in the Spirit, it's basically singing out an inspired song from the Lord. It can be a Bible verse that you sing, or maybe just some words from or to the Lord. It's really beautiful though...when you have a whole room full of people just singing out inspired songs and they all blend together. I really feel so much joy and peace when I'm singing in the Spirit. Tonight I wrote down some of what I felt the Lord was placing on my heart, and I want to share it with you.

"O Lord, You make me sing for joy,
You make me dance in Your presence.
I will lift Your name up,
I will give You all the glory due Your name.
You are the king of my heart
and the joy of my life.
You set my spirit on fire
You set my life ablaze for You.
Come and be the Lord of all my plans.
Take me and make me more like You."

Towards the end of the worship time, someone prayed out something along the lines of "Look forward to what the Lord has for you--cast out all fears." I really heard that as a direct confirmation from the Lord that fear is natural before I go on my GAP year. There will be challenges and hard times. But He wants me to look forward to what He has planned for me. He wants me to face my trials with boldness and courage, and He will help me through them.

Lord thank You for being so present at UCO tonight! I really enjoyed praising You with my brothers and sisters. You are so worthy of all of our time and all of our praise. Help me to continue praising You and seeking Your will for my life this summer. I want my life to truly be on fire for You. Amen.

Untying the Knots

I would like to share with you all a little inspiring story from the Max Lucado book I've been reading (Next Door Savior: Near Enough to Touch, Strong Enough to Trust).

"Most of us had a hard time learning to tie our shoes. Squirting toothpaste on a brush was tough enough, but tightening shoes by wrapping strings together? Nothing easy about that. Besides, who needs them? Wear loafers. Go barefoot. Who came up with the idea for shoes anyhow? And knees don't help. Always in your face. leaning around them, pushing them away--a person can't concentrate. And, oh, the advice! Everyone had a different approach. 'Make a tree with the loop, and let the squirrel run around it into the hole.' 'Shape a rabbit ear, and then wrap it with a ribbon.' Dad said, 'Go fast.' Your uncle said to take your time. Can't anyone agree? Only on one thing. You need to know how.

Learning to tie your shoes is a rite of passage. Right in there with first grade and first bike is first shoe tying. But, oh, how dreadful is the process. Just when you think you've made the loops and circled the tree...you get a knot. Unbeknownst to you, you've just been inducted into reality.

My friend Roy used to sit in a park bench for a few minutes each morning. He liked to watch the kids gather and play at the bus stop. One day he noticed a little fellow, maybe five or six years of age, struggling to board the bus. While others were climbing on, he was leaning down, frantically trying to disentangle a knotted shoestring. He grew more anxious by the moment, frantic eyes darting back and forth between the shoe and the ride. All of a sudden it was too late. The door closed. The boy fell back on his haunches and sighed.

That's when he saw Roy. With tear-filled eyes he looked at the man on the bench and asked, 'Do you untie knots?' Jesus loves that request. Life gets tangled. People mess up. You never outgrow the urge to look up and say, 'Help!' Jesus had a way of appearing at such moments. Peter's empty boat. Nicodemus's empty heart. Matthew has a friend issue. A woman has a health issue. Look who shows up.

Jesus, our next door Savior.
'Do you untie knots?'
'Yes.' "

I just love that. I love how it's a simple story about a child being unable to untie the knots in his shoe laces, but it is so applicable to our lives. We get into "knotted" situations all the time. We say the wrong thing, talk when we need to listen, make the wrong choice instead of the right one, and there we are...in a knotted situation. Let's ask Jesus to identify the knots in our lives and untie them. I know I could definitely benefit from a less-knotted life...could you?

Music, Pineapple, and Good Hugs

I'm feeling a lot more positive today. I went to mass this morning with Jennifer, and then headed off to work shortly after. It was extremely busy at Costco today, so the workday just flew by. Praise God for that! :) When I got home I spent some quality time with Lina. We mostly practiced our songs for our performance at Open Mic Night at the Blue Tractor this Wednesday (see the Facebook event for details!), so that was a lot of fun. I won't reveal what songs we're playing yet, but you can trust that we have a pretty sweet lineup. :) After a while of practicing, we made the BEST daiquiris we've ever made. They were strawberry, mango, pineapple daiquiris with whipped cream, sprinkles, and a Nerds jelly bean (soo good!) on top. Needless to say, they were delicious and we couldn't taste the alcohol at all. :)

Before I go any further, I deem it necessary to inform you all that fresh whole pineapples are on sale at Meijer for just $1.97! That's the cheapest you will probably ever find them. They're usually $3.99 at Meijer and $2.79 at Costco (I know my fresh pineapple prices...). So go get one! And if you don't know how to cut up a whole pineapple, have no fear: the cored whole pineapples are on sale too for just $1.97! And they taste like candy. We used them in our daiquiris tonight and we're positive that was the key ingredient. Anyway, Meijer should probably pay me to advertise for them in my blog...sheesh!

The Lord blessed me with joy and happiness today, and I am very thankful for that. One other thing that really made my night was running into my friend Meredith as she was leaving my apartment and I was coming in from work. We exchanged our usual obnoxiously-loud "Merrrrre!" and "Raaaacccchhhhh!" and then gave eachother a wonderful hug. I'm convinced that Meredith is one of the few people that really know how to give a good hug. You know the kind that squoosh you but not suffocate you? Where both arms are involved (NOT a wimpy side hug)? Where some swaying back and forth usually occurs? Yep. That's the kind of hugs Meredith gives. And boy oh boy are they great. So thanks Mere for being great. :)

Lord, thank You for giving me joy and peace today. Thank You for the time I was able to spend with Lina, and thank You for the gift of friendship in my life. You truly do give us everything we need to be complete.

His Perfect Timing

I graduated from Eastern today, and I think it's just starting to sink in...these four years really did fly by. I have thoroughly enjoyed them, though. I've made some solid friendships, grown immensely in my faith, and learned some valuable life lessons. I've been given so many blessings and have blessed so many people. Tonight as I was playing guitar and singing for Jennifer, I was filled with this overwhelming sense of sadness and fear. Or something. I'm actually not quite sure what it was. Whatever it was brought me to tears. I usually know why I'm crying, but this time I really didn't know. I sort of felt this sense that everything I've experienced in these last four years was going to change as my friends and I all went our separate ways. Jennifer will stay here and continue going to school at Eastern, Lina's going to India for six weeks this summer on a mission trip, and I'm leaving at the end of August to spend a year in Ireland. Yes, I know there's a lot of awesome technology that will help keep us together, but it just won't be the same. No sleepovers with Jennifer. No more jam sessions with Lina. And that's only two of my friends. What about everyone at Cru? And my wonderful brothers and sisters in UCO? The Lord only knows what will happen, I suppose. And that scares the heck out of me.

I know that God has an awesome plan for my life. He has a truly beautiful plan for each and every one of His children. I know that He will change us, stretch us, strengthen us, weaken us, and sharpen us. He will do everything He can to make us more like Him. I guess what scares me the most about that is that it usually involves being outside of our comfort zones. And I very much dislike that. I'm used to order, timing, and neat schedules. I'm used to not doing things if I don't think I'll like them. I'm used to avoiding situations that might make me feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. If you didn't notice by my italicized words there, the key phrase in all that is "used to". I think the Lord is teaching me that life is not all about doing things I'm used to. What kind of a fulfilling, Christ-centered life will I live if I only do what I'm comfortable doing?

I'm glad the Lord revealed this all to me tonight...while it is still graduation day and my summer has yet to begin. I am looking forward to hearing a lot more from the Lord on this subject of getting out of my comfort zone. I pray that He would teach me to think more like Him every day and make the most out of this summer while I still have it in front of me. I love you all and I can't wait to see the ways that the Lord will change us and change our friendships according to His perfect timing...not mine.

Tearing Me Apart

It's sad to see another year of UCO come to an end. We have one more prayer meeting next week (plus the summer meetings), and then that's it for me. :( It's been great being in UCO though...I've met such a great group of men and women that are so supportive in my faith. Even though I don't know a lot of them as well as I'd like to, I enjoy seeing their smiling faces every week and I love being in such a welcoming atmosphere. They really put the "Outreach" in "University Christian Outreach."

I don't have much else to say tonight, but I'd like to call to your attention the lyrics of a lovely song by JJ Heller, my favorite female Christian artist. :)

This song is called "Only Love Remains":

"Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow in the ground
I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me, Jesus
As you tear me apart

Please kill the liar
Kill the thief in me
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

You burn away the ropes that bind
And hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth
I begin to see reality
For the first time in my life
I know that I’m a shadow
But I’m dancing in your light

Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains"

I think this new chapter of my life (post-graduation) is going to be about Jesus tearing me apart and making me more like Him so that I can truly further His kingdom. In the words of JJ Heller, Lord I ask that You would "be gentle with me [...] as you tear me apart" and "breathe into my spirit, breathe into my veins, until only love remains." Amen.

Wonderfully Silly

I had a pretty great day today. I slept in until around 11ish, then went to downtown Plymouth to hang out with my friends Jordan and Jennifer. We pretty much just wandered around downtown for a few hours and acted like fools. Well...Jennifer and I acted like fools, and Jordan just laughed and shook his head at us. :) We had a good time. I went to the Iron & Wine concert in Royal Oak tonight with Jordan and Leslie (a friend from Hannah's church), so that was fun as well. I'd say the worst part of the evening was standing outside the theatre in the cold wind while we waited for the doors to open...but that really wasn't that bad. :)

The Lord really blessed me with laughter today. I just felt so happy and joyful, so I laughed quite a bit. I said some silly things, heard some silly things, and saw some silly people. That makes for a wonderfully SILLY day.

With that, I'm off to bed. Goodnight and God bless! :)

Good Things

My interview went very well today, I think. It was more of a conversation on Skype with the GAP program director in Dublin, Ireland. Yes, that's where I'm most likely going to be spending my GAP year. :) He just asked me some questions about my application, and I asked him some questions about the program. He's supposed to email me again sometime this weekend to see if I have any more questions, and then I'm going to talk with one of the women on staff there and ask her some questions. It's all starting to unfold! :)

Today was a pretty good day, but it didn't go exactly as I planned. I didn't end up having lunch with my dad this afternoon because my brother Jake was in a car accident and my dad was with him in the hospital. Jake's okay, and they're getting everything straightened out with the medical bills and such. It was kind of a scary thing for our family though, so please keep us in your prayers.

I'm getting excited for so many good things...Friday is the UCO Finale, and since it's my senior year I get to be honored (basically people write nice things about all the seniors and someone puts it together in a book), and I get to share a little bit about how I've been encouraged through UCO. Plus I was asked to play guitar for the worship part of the evening! It's going to be a great night, I'm sure. Then Saturday is graduation. After commencement my parents are taking me and Jennifer out for dinner, so that'll be nice. I think I'm going to see my friend/sister Ashley after that as well, so I'm looking forward to that. Next Wednesday I'll be performing with Lina at the open mic night at the Blue Tractor restaurant in Ann Arbor, so I'm definitely looking forward to that. We always have a lot of fun doing it, and it's been a while since we've gone. The first time we performed at the Blue Tractor, I wanted to come up with something other than "Lina and Rachel" to write down on the sign up sheet for open mic. After coming up with quite a few cheesy "band" names, Lina suggested that we keep our picks (guitar picks) in our pockets and call ourselves the Pick Pockets. :) Pretty clever, right? So look out, Blue Tractor...here comes the Pick Pockets! You all are welcome to come to the Blue Tractor on Tuesday night to eat, listen to some good music, and support us!

Thank You Lord for another great day. You continue to provide me with everything that I need, and I am truly grateful. Keep me focused on You this week, and help me to honor You in all that I say (and sing!), think, and do. Amen.

So Faithful

Praise the Lord! Not only did my little talk go well at UCO tonight, but I felt so much more "on fire" for God than I did yesterday. I think part of my spiritual warfare yesterday was due to someone telling me that it was going to be too hard to be able to raise enough money to go on my GAP year. This discouraged me, even though I know in my heart it isn't true. The Lord confirmed that by placing Philippians 4:19 on my heart, which says "I will provide everything you need in accord with His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." I like that passage for two reasons: 1) It says "I will provide EVERYTHING YOU NEED", and 2) It uses the word "riches". After I received that word from the Lord, I was pretty uplifted. Then the Lord continued to do good things tonight at the prayer meeting. Before the meeting, a bunch of us prayed in the basement of the chapel, and I really experienced a lot of peace and joy through that prayer time. That really made me more enthusiastic about giving my testimony, so I'm really thankful for that. When I went upstairs after that to check my phone, there was a message from my friend's dad saying that he and his wife would like to support me financially for my GAP year. I didn't even ask them for money! I hadn't gotten a chance to share with them about the trip either...they only knew what my friend had told them. :) Praise God for providing so quickly and with such great timing! So then I shared with everyone at UCO about how and why the Lord called me to do a GAP year, and what my hopes and fears were for the year. Although I was super nervous, I felt the Holy Spirit working through me and giving me words and energy to speak. After the meeting, someone came up to me and told me that he really felt like my talk was applicable to his life and he thanked me for sharing. So that was pretty encouraging to hear. :) As if that wasn't enough, someone ELSE came up to me after the meeting and told me she wanted to give me some money that she had been tithing for a while. Praise God! Seriously. Talk about providing everything I need...and so quickly! It was pretty ironic that all of this happened tonight because this morning I was talking to my roommate Lina about how I had been experiencing some spiritual warfare last night. I told her that the devil was probably trying to bring me down because God was about to do something awesome. And did He ever! I can't wait to see how He works for the rest of this summer when I do more fundraising.

I have my Skype interview tomorrow afternoon at 2:30 with the GAP director in *the country that I am now 99.9% sure I'm going to*, so your prayers are deeply appreciated. I will be sure to let you all know any details as I find them out.

Lord, thank You so much for being so faithful! You are truly my strength and my light. I praise You for providing me with such wonderful support for my GAP year, and I look forward to the rest of Your blessings. Keep my eyes and my mind fixed on You as I go about the rest of this week, and help me to share Your love with everyone I come into contact with. Amen.

Only 90% Sure

So I got an email from a GAP program director today and he wants to chat with me on Skype sometime soon to discuss my GAP year! I'm still only 90% sure of where I'm going, so I won't post it here yet. Just please pray that the Skype chat goes well, and I'll be sure to keep you updated as I find out details. :)

In other news, I just took my last biology exam tonight (unless I take the optional cumulative final exam next Monday) and I just finished my last assignment for one of my classes. Except for one more lecture tomorrow morning and a project presentation tomorrow afternoon, I'm DONE WITH UNDERGRAD! Praise God for giving me the strength to make it through these four years.

Aside from my good news about my GAP year, I feel like I'm suffering from a bit of spiritual warfare today. I think it may be because the Lord is trying to tell me something awesome (see yesterday's post about the Lazarus references) or do something great in my life and the devil wants none of it. I just feel kind of down...like I want to do nothing but sleep. I'm supposed to give a testimony tomorrow night at the UCO prayer meeting about how/why the Lord called me to do a GAP year. When our mission leader first asked me to do it, I was so ecstatic that I immediately grabbed a piece of paper and started writing out my testimony. Thankfully I still have that piece of paper...so while the devil is messing with my mind and stealing my ideas and inspiration, I have it all written down. Now I just need prayer from you all and strength from God to be able to fight off the devil and only speak the Lord's words.

God, thank You for today. Thank You for the nice weather these past couple of days, and thank You for providing everything I needed today to get through the day. I pray that You give me a peaceful sleep tonight and bless my day tomorrow, especially when I give my testimony at the UCO prayer meeting. Amen.

From the Grave

The Lord has been calling to my attention the story of Lazarus these past few weeks. It is written that Lazarus had been dead for 4 days in the tomb before Jesus came there. Martha (the sister of Lazarus) said to Jesus, "Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died" (John 11:21). Jesus shares in Martha's mourning and sadness (He actually wept with her), and then went over to the tomb and commanded Lazarus to come out. Lazarus did as Jesus commanded him to do and was indeed raised from the dead...after being in the tomb for 4 days. So that's the story of Lazarus in a nutshell. The number of times I've heard it in the past couple of weeks has been incredible. I heard it once in a talk by Joyce Meyer, once in a Lenten devotional I've been reading here and there, once in my Max Lucado book I've been reading (Next Door Savior: Near Enough to Touch. Strong Enough to Trust), and once at Mass this morning. I've also heard quite a few references to it lately, which are as follows: "I will open your graces and have you rise from them" (Ezekiel 37:12), "And you were dead in the trespasses and sins" (Ephesians 2:1), and "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light" (Ephesians 5:8). I know that hearing the same thing several times is not a mistake...especially when it's something told to us by God.

So what's He trying to tell me? Although I'm not quite sure yet, I can draw one non-specific parallel between us and Lazarus. Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, showing everyone that even though he really was dead (for 4 days!), nothing is impossible for Christ. This relates to how we are dead to sin, and no matter how far we think we have fallen from God, no matter how many sins we have committed or how terrible they are, He will bring us back to life. He will call us (by name) out of our tomb, and we have the choice to get up and come out of our grave (which is sin), or remain dead.

I pray that God will reveal to me just what He wants to say with all that He has been teaching me about Lazarus. I am looking forward to finding out just why He has been repeatedly bringing this remarkable story to my attention.

Determination

I went and saw the movie Soul Surfer tonight, which is the true story of Bethany Hamilton, the surfer that lost her arm in a shark attack. Despite a few cheesy lines and not-so-wonderful acting by Carrie Underwood (sorry Carrie, but just stick to singing!), the movie was decent. I was amazed by how much faith Bethany had in God, even after she lost her arm. At one point she asked the question, "How can this be God's plan for my life?" But she had such strong will and determination. Almost immediately after she got home from the hospital, she wanted to get back out in the water and surf. Because surfing was her dream, she just kept reminding herself that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her (Philippians 4:13). She also had an amazingly supportive group of family and friends that believed in her and helped her accomplish her dream. http://bethanyhamilton.com/about/bio/ < go there to read more of Bethany's story. She's quite an inspiration!

Life has been going well these days...I'm starting to feel apathetic about my schoolwork though. I graduate a week from today, and that day cannot come any sooner. I have a few exams left, and I just don't feel like studying for them. I just have to hang on for a few more days...come Lord, give me motivation and drive to finish this semester strong!

I hope you all are doing well. Please feel free to let me know if there's any way I can be praying for any of you!

Her Shame His

I'd like to share with you a chapter of Next Door Savior: Near Enough to Touch. Strong Enough to Trust by Max Lucado. It is based on John 1:29 which says this: "The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world." This story is a bit lengthy, but I really was blessed by it and I think you will be too. Just open your heart to what Jesus may have to say to you.

"The woman flops down on the bench and drops her trash bag between her feet. With elbows on knees and cheeks in hands, she stares at the sidewalk. Everything aches. Back. Legs. Neck. Her shoulder is stiff and her hands raw. All because of the sack. Oh, to be rid of this garbage.

Unbroken clouds form a gray ceiling, gray with a thousand sorrows. Soot-stained buildings cast long shadows, darkening passageways and the people in them. Drizzle chills the air and muddies the rivulets of the street gutters. The woman collects her jacket. A passing car drenches the sack and splashes her jeans. She doesn't move. Too tired.

Her memories of life without trash are fuzzy. As a child maybe? Her back was straighter, her walk quicker...or was it a dream? She doesn't know for sure.

A second car. This one stops and parks. A man steps out. She watches his shoes sink in the slush. From the car he pulls out a trash bag, lumpy with litter. He drapes it over his shoulder and curses the weight. Neither of them speaks. Who knows if he noticed her. His face seems young, younger than his stooped back. In moments he is gone. Her gaze returns to the pavement.

She never looks at her trash. Early on she did. But what she saw repulsed her, so she's kept the sack closed ever since. What else can she do? Give it to someone? All have their own.

Here comes a young mother. With one hand she leads a child; with the other she drags her load, bumpy and heavy.

Here comes an old man, face ravined with wrinkles. His trash sack is so long it hits the back of his legs as he walks. He glances at the woman and tries to smile.

What weight would he be carrying? she wonders as he passes.

'Regrets.'

She turns to see who spoke. Beside her on the bench sits a man. Tall, with angular cheeks and bright, kind eyes. Like hers, his jeans are mud stained. Unlike hers, his shoulders are straight. He wears a T-shirt and baseball cap. She looks around for his trash but doesn't see it. He watches the old man disappear as he explains, 'As a young father, he worked many hours and neglected his family. His children don't love him. His sack is full, full of regrets.'

She doesn't respond. And when she doesn't, he does. 'And yours?'

'Mine?' she asks, looking at him.

'Shame.' His voice is gentle, compassionate.

She still doesn't speak, but neither does she turn away.

'Too many hours in the wrong arms. Last year. Last night...shame.'

She stiffens, steeling herself against the scorn she has learned to expect. As if she needed more shame. Stop him. But how? She awaits his judgement. But it never comes. his voice is warm and his question honest. 'Will you give me your trash?'

Her head draws back. What can he mean?

'Give it to me. Tomorrow. At the landfill. Will you bring it?' He rubs a moist smudge from her cheek with his thumb and stands. 'Friday. The landfill.'

Long after he leaves, she sits, replaying the scene, retouching her cheek. His voice lingers; his invitation hovers. She tries to dismiss his words but can't. How could he know what he knew? And how could he know and still be so kind? The memory sits on the couch of her soul, an uninvited but welcome guest.

That night's sleep brings her summer dreams. A young girl under blue skies and puffy clouds, playing amid wildflowers, skirt twirling. She dreams of running with hands wide open, brushing the tops of sunflowers. She dreams of happy people filling a meadow with laughter and hope. But when she wakes, the sky is dark, the clouds billowed, and the streets shadowed. At the foot of her bed lies her sack of trash. Hoisting it over her shoulder, she walks out of the apartment and down the stairs and onto the street, still slushy.

It's Friday.

For a time she stands, thinking. First wondering what he meant, then if he really meant it. She sighs. With hope just barely outweighing hopelessness, she turns toward the edge of town. Others are walking in the same direction. The man beside her smells of alcohol. He's slept many nights in his suit. A teenage girl walks a few feet ahead. The woman of shame hurries to catch up. The girl volunteers an answer before the question can be asked: 'Rage. Rage at my father. Rage at my mother. I'm tired of anger. He said he'd take it.' She motions to the sack. 'I'm going to give it to him.' The woman nods, and the two walk together.

The landfill is tall with trash--papers and broken brooms and old beds and rusty cars. By the time they reach the hill, the line to the top is long. Hundreds walk ahead of them. All wait in silence, stunned by what they hear--a scream, a pain-pierced roar that hangs in the air for moments, interrupted only by a groan. Then the scream again. His.

As they draw nearer, they know why. He kneels before each, gesturing toward the sack, offering a request, then a prayer. 'May I have it? And may you never feel it again.' Then he bows his head and lifts the sack, emptying its contents upon himself. The selfishness of glutton, the bitterness of the angry, the possessiveness of the insecure. He feels what they felt. It is as if he'd lied or cheated or cursed his Maker.

Upon her turn, the woman pauses. Hesitates. His eyes compel her to step forward. He reaches for her trash and takes it from her. 'You can't live with this,' he explains. 'You weren't made to.' With head down, he empties her shame upon his shoulders. Then looking toward the heavens with tear-flooded eyes, he screams, 'I'm sorry!'

'But you did nothing!' she cries. Still, he sobs as she has sobbed into her pillow a hundred nights. That's when she realizes that his cry is hers. Her shame his. With her thumb she touches his cheek, and for the first step in a long nighttime, she has no trash to carry.

With the others she stands at the base of the hill and watches as he is buried under a mound of misery. For some time he moans. Then nothing. Just silence. The people sit among the wrecked cars and papers and discarded stoves and wonder who this man is and what he has done. Like mourners at a wake, they linger. Some share stories. Others say nothing. All cast occasional glances at the landfill. It feels odd, loitering near the heap. But it feels even stranger to think of leaving. So they stay. Through the night and into the next day. Darkness comes again. A kinship connects them, a kinship through the trashman. Some doze. Others build fires in the metal drums and speak of the sudden abundance of stars in the night sky. By early morning most are asleep. They almost miss the moment. It is the young girl who sees it. The girl with the rage. She doesn't trust her eyes at first, but when she looks again, she knows. Her words are soft, intended for no one. 'He's standing.' Then aloud, for her friend, 'He's standing.' And louder for all, 'He's standing!'

She turns; all turn. They see him silhouetted against a golden sun. Standing. Indeed."

So...was that compelling or what? I just love the way Lucado writes...so vividly and beautifully. I could really picture the events in the story as I read it. And it made me think about a few things: what is in my trash bag? What's holding me back from giving it to Him? I also thought about the fact that I may need to bring my trash to Him multiple times. But the good news is He'll always take it. Always. No matter how much, how heavy, or how many times I bring it. He takes my trash. He forgives my sins. He takes your trash. He forgives your sins.

Invisible Love

I am inspired tonight by the lovely words of Miss JJ Heller. She is one of my absolute favorite female artists. I love her voice, and her lyrics are just really awesome. Her song "Invisible Love" struck my heart in a special way tonight. It's really about letting our faith be our eyes. Even though we can't see God, we have to trust that He's there. We have to imagine His presence, His voice, and everything else about Him. But when we have a strong relationship with Him and talk to Him all the time, those things are a bit easier to imagine. Talking to Him on a regular basis creates a special bond and we are able to learn more about Him and who He is. In her song "Invisible Love", JJ Heller speaks of being able to feel the Lord's arms and know His whisper. Read what she says about this invisible love we have with God (a few of my favorite parts are bolded):

"If my arms could reach around you
I would never move
If my eyes could see you
I’d have no faith to prove
The wonder of invisible love

This is how it has to be
With you and me
The wonder of invisible love

When I fall I feel your arms
Before I reach the ground
Lord, I know your whisper
Though I’ve never heard the sound
The wonder of invisible love

This is how it has to be
With you and me
The wonder of invisible love

Someday there will be no time to mind
I will be your long awaited bride
We will dance away the night"

Mmm...I just love that. I hope you find this song as encouraging as I do. I think it just makes our relationship with God all the more beautiful. That last line "I will be your long awaited bride; We will dance away the night" makes me think of the song "Dance With Me". I think I might have posted about it in the past, but it's basically about being captivated by God and letting Him sweep us up off our feet and dance with us. Just thinking about that brings joy to my heart and a smile to my face. What a wonderful God we have that He wants to dance with us. Each and every one of us! :)

I hope you all are having a good week. I pray that the Lord is keeping you peaceful during this end-of-semester craziness.

Great Friends

I had a pretty spectacular day today, mostly due to the fact that God has blessed me with some pretty spectacular friends. My good friend Jennifer spent the night last night, and as she always does before she leaves, she made my bed this morning. Not only did she make my bed, but she folded my EMU blanket perfectly on the bottom of the comforter so the EMU part was showing (and centered). So perfect. :) Now, having someone make my bed may seem like a small thing. And really, it is. But when I never have my bed made, it's a special treat to see those covers all nice and flat on the bed and my pillows looking all fluffy. It's just one of those simple things that Jennifer does that makes me really happy. So thanks, Jennifer.

Another friend that I have really grown to appreciate is Amanda. Amanda was one of my roommates on campus last year, but we didn't really talk a whole lot (for being roommates, anyway). Since we're both in the speech-language pathology program here at Eastern, though, we've had some classes together. This semester we had a class on Wednesday mornings at 10:00. My apartment complex is sort of behind where Amanda lives, so I walk by her building on the way to class. At some point in the semester, I started calling Amanda when I got to her building so we could walk to class together. I'd call her at about 9:40 and say, "Good morning, sunshine!" And she'd always say, "Hi Rachie! I'll be right down." Sometimes she asked what the weather was like, and I liked reporting it to her like a weatherman. :) Anyway, I've enjoyed our little chats on the way to class each week. It's given me a chance to get to know her a little better, talk to her about what's been going on in my life, and of course, hear about her wedding plans for this August. :)

Today at about 5:00 I was getting ready to leave for my biology lecture. It rained all day today and was still raining when I was ready to leave, so I wasn't exactly thrilled about walking to class. I found and borrowed Lina's umbrella, though, so it wasn't looking too bad. I got about 10 steps out the door of my apartment building when I saw Lina's car pulling into the parking lot. She rolled down the window and asked if I'd like a ride to class. Of course I did! What perfect timing she had. :) Thanks, Lina!

After biology, I turned around to ask one of my friends in class for a ride home, and she (after saying she'd drive me) said, "I have something for you!" It turns out she had made me copies of her pictures of the dissected pig for our exam tomorrow. I had seen her taking pictures of the pigs in class and thought, "That's a good idea." She mentioned something about sending me the pictures, but I assumed she had forgotten and I didn't want to be a pain and remind her. Having her give them to me after class tonight was so nice! I'm not exactly sure how that works...I mean, "Think and you shall receive?"...yeah, not really. I think she's just a wonderful friend and gift from God. Thanks, Melissa!

I got to see more great friends tonight at Hannah's church in Plymouth. Although I haven't been too bold in getting to know people, I have met several brothers and sisters that really make me feel welcome there. Thanks, Solid Rock Bible Church. :)

Lord, I thank You so much for the gift of friendship. Thank You for placing people in my life that love me and that I can share my love with. I pray that You would strengthen the friendships I have and help me to form new ones through You. Amen.

Joy Stealers

I hate that the devil uses the times when we're most spiritually encouraged to just tear us down. I went to a great UCO prayer meeting tonight and got to play guitar for worship, so that was a really awesome time. The talk by Dr. Dan Keating was wonderful too...about relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. God was moving powerfully during both the worship time and the talk, and I was able to really feel His presence. But when I got home and tried to write this blog post, the devil was just not having it. He started making me crabby, he started making me forget what God taught me tonight (good thing I wrote it down...take THAT, devil!), and he just really put a negative attitude in my mind. I sat here feeling so discouraged...until I heard Jesus say, in that quiet voice of His, "Come, my daughter. I will give you rest." So I pulled out my guitar and let Him lead me into some quiet worship and reflection. This was such a powerful time for me. As I think I've said before, I really feel the Lord's presence when I play guitar and sing for Him. I feel peaceful, the words just light up on the page, and sometimes I can even hear someone singing with me. It's often hard to tell if it's a man's or woman's voice...but there's definitely another voice. So God, saints, angels...whoever's singing with me...you've got a nice voice! Anyway, one of the songs the Lord led me to sing was "The Battle Belongs to the Lord." One of my favorite lines is this: "When the enemy presses in hard, do not fear. The battle belongs to the Lord." That was especially comforting tonight, as I really felt that the devil was trying to steal my joy.

The evening reflection for today in a daily meditation book I have really confirmed something that Joyce Meyer said last night about prayer (see yesterday's blog post). She basically said that we often pray out wordy, elaborate prayers to God just to spew out words or to hear ourselves sound spiritual (or sound spiritual to others). Tonight's meditation comes from Matthew 6:7-13, where it says, "In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him. This is how you are to pray: 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread; and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors; and do not subject us to the final test, but deliver us from the evil one.'" Now, sometimes I think, "Well, isn't the Lord's Prayer kind of wordy itself? I mean, who uses words like 'hallowed' and 'forgive us our debts' and 'do not subject us'?" This is a bit different though...it is the model of prayer given to us by Jesus. He told us specifically "This is how you are to pray". Notice He didn't say, "This is a good idea for prayer" or "You can pray this way if you want to"...He said, "This is how YOU ARE TO PRAY." It's a command. Do it. Pray it. Say those words. I think it only becomes babble when we say it so fast that we don't know what we're saying. You know what I mean? I grew up saying so many Hail Marys and so many Our Fathers that I really have to be careful when I pray those prayers. I have to really make sure that I'm saying what I mean and meaning what I say.

I challenge you to pray the Lord's Prayer today...and really mean it. Say it super slow if you have to, look words up if you need to, but really understand it. Why did Jesus ask us to pray this way? There must have been a reason...if not many. So here it is again (as I learned it):

"Our Father, who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy name
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil. Amen."

Joyce-y Joyce Meyer

I just listened to Joyce Meyer talk about the power of true faith. Her main point was this: "If you do what you can do, God will do what you cannot do. She went on to say that God "will never give you something to do that you cannot do. It may be something you don't wanna do, it may be something you don't like to do, it may be something that might be a little bit of a struggle for you to do, but God will never ever give you anything to do that you cannot do, so stop telling Him you can't do it and just do it." That really struck me. I don't know how many times I've complained about something that God has asked me to do. I guess I just don't fully believe that I have been given the strength to do it. Either that or I'm afraid of what will happen when I do it. Like when He tells me "You should go tell that person about me" or "How come I'm not a part of your relationship with so-and-so?". I get all flustered and let the devil deceive me into thinking that it's too hard to share my faith or that others will think I'm weird if I do. What the heck am I worried about looking weird for?! Sheesh.

Another thing that Joyce Meyer said that I liked was this: "Sometimes I think we try to say things to God just to hear ourselves sound spiritual. Maybe you need to say less and mean every word that you say." She's talking about prayer. Wordy, meaningless prayer. You know what I mean, right? The blah-blah-blah kinds of prayers that we make all fancy? Do we even know or mean what we're saying? Probably not. Jesus is our friend...why can't we just talk to Him that way? I'm definitely going to check my prayers tonight and make sure I know what I'm saying and that it's truly the prayer of my heart.

Joyce ended her talk with a little bit about problems in our life. "We're never promised a problem-free life. We don't have faith so we can never have a problem, we have faith so we can have a problem but it not have us. We don't need to be all wrapped up in our problems." Hmm...that's pretty convicting. I think sometimes I let myself believe that with enough prayer and enough faith, my problems will just go away. No, no, no. That's ridiculous! What the heck would life be without problems and struggles? Too easy, that's what. She talked about praying about our problems, and then...the most difficult part (but most rewarding)...just leaving them in God's hands. "You do not have to be upset until God solves your problem. You do not have to be miserable until God solves your problem. And I don't wanna be negative and give you a downer, but even when He solves this one, you're probably gonna get another one...so if you don't ever learn to be happy while you got the problems, you're not gonna be very happy in your life." This reminds me of James 1:2, which talks about experiencing joy in the mist of trials. God doesn't want us to worry about anything. While we're waiting for God to help us through our struggles, we are to wait joyfully and expectantly! I definitely want to get better at that.

Lord, thank You for this day. Thank you for always guiding me and teaching me Your right and perfect ways. Help me to truly live out the plan You have for my life. Help me to be joyful as I wait for You to reveal Your majesty little by little in my life. Amen.

Dinner and Dessert?

Awkward moment of the weekend:
At Costco yesterday I was working as a cashier assistant (putting people's things back into their cart), and a man came through the line with a box of frozen pizzas and a big bag of M&Ms. So I said, "Hmm...dinner and dessert?" And he replied, "...that sounds good." Please note that this man was around 50 years old. I was clearly making an observation about his purchases...not asking him out! Oh man...I was pretty embarrassed. :/

Other than that I had a pretty good weekend. I got to see some friends, sell a couple of my textbooks, and get some good hours in at work. I finally got an email from the GAP program director, and she said I'll be finding out more about where I'm going soon. She actually kind of told me where I'm going, but I am waiting on a phone interview from the director of that area to find out if I'm a good fit for the community there. I'll keep you all posted and let you know as soon as I find out.

That's all for now...just a short one tonight. I hope you're all doing well. Please let me know if there's anything I can be praying for any of you about.

Lord, thank You for such a nice weekend. Thanks for the time with friends and family. I pray that You would bless this week. Help me to be a light to those around me, and place people that need to know You in my path. I need Your boldness and love, Lord. Make me more like You. Amen.

Sweet Stuff

I had a pretty darn good day today. I ate a delicious crepe, hung out with some friends, and made some new friends. And those are just the highlights. :) I went to downtown Plymouth tonight after work with my friend Jordan. We went to this place called The Coffee Bean where they have live music on the weekends. The Coffee Bean has this cool little station where they make crepes with whatever you want in them...I got nutella, strawberries, and banana in mine and it was delicious! I don't even really like banana, but the girl making it sliced it up really thin and it was soooo good with the nutella and the strawberries. AND she put powdered sugar and whipped cream on top. It was excellent. :) We sat and enjoyed the music for a while, then left for a bonfire at my friend Hannah's boyfriend's house. That was a lot of fun...my first bonfire of spring/summer. We roasted some delicious marshmallows and had a good time just hanging out and talking. I ended up talking to a few people from Hannah's church, so that was nice. I usually just come to the college group meetings and not really talk to anyone...but then later wish I would have been bold enough to introduce myself and talk to people. I talked to a couple people tonight though, so that was sweet. :)

My dad came to visit me at work today, and that was definitely the highlight of my shift. I really love when my dad comes to visit me. He always has a huge smile on his face...and I see him from far away because of how tall he is. I just look up and see him smiling at me and it totally makes my day. Thankfully I had a break while my dad was in the store, so I went and found him and just walked around with him while he shopped. I gave him a hug before I went back to work, and it was both an "I love you" hug and an "I'm so proud to be your daughter" hug. There's something about hugging my dad in front of all the Costco members and my coworkers that says "This is my dad and I'm still his princess." And I love that. Thanks dad for making my day!

Heart Breaks

This morning I tuned in to AM 990 to listen to a priest named Fr. John Riccardo. I really enjoy listening to him whenever I get the chance. He's got some really great insights on a lot of issues and teachings of the Catholic church, and he's usually pretty funny. This morning, however, he was not at all funny. Fr. John was talking about abortion...and in order for his audience to fully understand the act, he gave a terribly graphic description of a partial-birth abortion. He did this not to gross people out or be graphic...he did it to bring to our awareness the tragedy that is abortion. Do you realize there are doctors out there that are sucking the brains out of unborn babies? There are doctors that inject chemicals into the fetus while it's still in the womb so that it'll be easier to deliver once it's dead. There are doctors that say that it's perfectly okay to do these things because this baby is not a human. I'm sorry, but who do these doctors think they are that they have the right to discern whether or not someone is worthy of being called a human?? Isn't that God's job? Ugh. The whole issue disgusts me. As I listened to the details of exactly how a partial-birth abortion is performed, I felt sick to my stomach. Those poor babies. They don't even have a say in the matter. Their lives are simply being taken from them before they have a chance to live. http://www.priestsforlife.org/partialbirth.html < visit that site for more information about partial-birth abortions. More specifically, scroll down to the bottom of the page where it has the step-by-step procedure. It's not in full-color, and it's not too graphic (for those of you who don't care to see the graphic representation). It just gives a description of each step involved. I think it'll provoke some interesting thoughts. I am so thankful for my life. My heart really breaks for all the babies that have been killed in abortions in the world. Seriously. What might they have been like if they just had a chance? I invite you to listen to the testimony of one woman who survived an abortion. Yeah. That's right...she actually SURVIVED. Can you imagine? Her story is incredible. She's such an amazing woman of God. Check out this video and hear her story. It's so very inspiring. > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKrW7vP8W00 (that's Part 1. 9.5 minutes) and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8wwleM3kk8&feature=related (that's Part 2. 6.5 minutes). I encourage you to watch/listen to the whole thing. It's only about 16 minutes of your time...and I really think it's worth it.

Lord, I thank You for the gift of my life. My heart breaks for all of the women that have undergone abortions, and my heart breaks for all of the babies that have not had a chance to live because of abortions. I ask that You would protect all babies from the terrible act of abortion and open more of Your people's hearts and minds to Your plan and will for their lives. Amen.

A Battle

I went to a talk at my church tonight about the Catholic mass. It wasn't quite what I was expecting...I think I expected more of an explanation as to why we do certain things and why we pray certain prayers. So much of the Catholic mass is routine-y, and I often go to mass and go through the motions (sit, stand, kneel, pray, repeat) without really thinking about it. I know that's definitely not the point of mass. My priest said, "The more we engage in full, active, conscious participation, the more our hearts will be open to everything the Lord has for us." I know I am guilty of not engaging in that full, active, conscious participation in mass sometimes. It's so easy to do! But just thinking about how much more God will be glorified if I give Him my full attention at mass makes me super excited. Anyway, another thing my priest talked about was why we come to mass. It's not about getting something out of it. It's about 1) Worshipping God, and 2) the sanctification of the human person. That was pretty awesome to hear. I know sometimes I feel like I'm going to mass on Sunday morning because I have to. Sometimes it just doesn't go through my head that I'm going there to worship God and to become more holy. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not always going out of obligation...I really do like going to mass. I just know that I need to really prepare my heart more before going to mass on Sunday. This preparation will not only help me to give more glory to God during mass, but it will also fight off the spiritual attacks of the devil. He absolutely HATES what goes on at mass...the praying, the singing, the praising God, the celebration of the Eucharist (body and blood of Christ), the reading of the scriptures, everything. So he does everything he can to sabotage our minds before we leave for mass...so much so that when we walk through the church doors we can hardly focus on the wonderful celebration of the mass. We can hardly give God our all and praise Him with everything in us because the devil has attacked...and I think sometimes we let him. Without even knowing it. That's the scary part. BUT now we know that the devil attacks when he knows that we're going to be worshipping God...so what are we going to do about it? Pray for protection, that's what. "It's easier to fight in the war when you know there's a battle coming."

Lord, thank You for being present during the talk at church tonight. I ask that You protect me in my weak moments. Be my stronghold and my deliverer. And St. Michael, I ask for your intercession as well: "St. Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do Thou, O Prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen."

Captivate Us

I listened to a really beautiful song tonight. It's very much like a love letter to God from us, His children. Before you read the lyrics, I want to define a couple of words [via Free Online Dictionary]:

captivate :
to attract and hold by charm, beauty, or excellence

devastate :
to destroy; to overwhelm; to bring to ruin or desolation

abide :
to remain in a place; to continue to be sure or firm; endure; dwell

divine :
supremely good or beautiful; magnificent; extremely pleasant; delightful; heavenly; perfect

fellowship :
the state of sharing mutual interests, experiences, or activities; companionship; friendship

yoke :
a bond or tie

burden :
a source of great worry or stress; weight

wisdom :
the ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting

might :
strength or ability to do something

Now that I've set the stage a little bit, here are the lyrics to Captivate Us by Watermark.

"Your face is beautiful
and Your eyes are like the stars
Your gentle hands have healing
there inside the scars
Your loving arms they draw me near
And Your smile it brings me peace
Draw me closer oh my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee

Captivate us, Lord Jesus set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence falling down
And rushing river, draw us nearer
Holy fountain consume us with You
Captivate us Lord Jesus, with You

Your voice is powerful
and Your words are radiant bright
In Your breath and shadow
I will come close and abide
You whisper love and life divine
and Your fellowship is free
Draw me closer O my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee

Let everything be lost in the shadows
of the light of Your face
Let every chain be broken from me
as I’m bound in Your grace
For Your yoke is easy, Your burden is light
You’re full of wisdom, power and might
And every eye will see You"

I think it really helps to know the meaning of some of those words. It really adds beauty and truth to the song. Anyway, I just really love the words of this. It's such a lovely prayer to God...especially that first verse. When my friend Jennifer told me to listen to it and that she thought I'd like it, I opened up Google, typed it in, listened, and fell in love. It's just so beautiful. Here's the URL if you'd like to have a listen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vcezx5Rl7sA. I highly recommend it. :)

Lord, captivate me tonight. Hold my attention with Your charm, beauty, and excellence. Devastate me, O God. Tear apart everything that is not holy in me, and replace it with Your holiness and perfection. I want to abide in You. Be my firm foundation and my friend forever. I know that You long to give me a life that is beautiful, magnificent, pleasant, and perfect. Give me the strength to accept You and Your divine plan for my life. Amen.

Meeting Needs

Today I learned about washing feet. It doesn't just mean getting someone's feet clean. That's just the surface-level meaning of the ritual. Jesus washed his disciples' feet in order to serve them. That's what it's really all about. Washing feet means finding a need, and meeting that need. I listened to Joyce Meyer's radio broadcast again tonight and her words really blessed me. She talked about how humbling it is to do things for others. That means doing things without expecting anything in return. Just selfless giving. Joyce makes an interesting point...she says, "Even if we're willing to do stuff for other people, we're much more likely to do stuff for people we like and know...because after all, they'll probably tell us how wonderful we are. When it comes to doing something for someone that you don't know....don't have any natural interest in other than that God loves them...there's a different story." Why is it so much easier to do things for people we already know? What are we afraid of? What am I afraid of? Rejection? Weird looks? Not getting anything in return? I don't know. But something sure is keeping me back, I think. Otherwise I'd be doing things for other people left and right.

Here's a question Joyce says to ask ourselves: "Do I see helping others as a divine opportunity from God or as an unwanted interruption in my plan?" Hmmm...when it's put that way, I guess I don't always see serving others as "divine opportunities". I mean, sometimes I do...like when I was in Detroit for spring break. But most of the time when I think about serving someone I think "Ughh...I just don't have time to stop and talk to that person" or "I'll do it tomorrow." That's not exactly a very good approach to the situation. When God calls us to help someone or serve one of our brothers or sisters in any way, we need to step up and do it. Here's the thing: God will take care of us and all of our needs when we take care of others. That's all there is to it.

God, thank You for giving me opportunities to serve my brothers and sisters, but I apologize for the times when I haven't been willing to carry out that call in serving them. Please continue to place people in my path that You want me to reach out to...and show me the boldness and courage that it takes to serve them as You would. Amen.

Others

From the book of Genesis... "I will bless you and I will make you a blessing, causing you to dispense good to others."

"Everything that God does for us, He expects to flow through us." These are some words of wisdom from the lovely Joyce Meyer. While listening to her radio broadcast tonight, I was struck by this idea of showing Christ's love to others. It's not that I've never heard of that before, it's just that it hit me differently this time. I think the Lord might be telling me to do more for others during this time in my life. He's been speaking to me all sorts of awesome things, showing me His love in incredible ways, and teaching me some important life lessons. But that stuff doesn't mean a thing if I can't show it to others and tell them how much Christ loves them and wants to do the same for them too. I always reap the benefits and praise God for His good works in my life, but I think I often forget the second (and very important) part of this whole thing--sharing it with others! This reminds me of bad professors...you know the kind. They're the ones that are super smart and know everything there is to know about a subject, but when it comes time to teaching that material to their students, they just can't do it. I know I've had quite a few professors like that in these last few years of classes. It's not good! I'm the one confused and left out while they've got all the knowledge and good stuff. Get what I mean? I feel like the Lord is warning me not to become like a bad professor. He wants to tell me things, show me His love, and teach me His ways, but He also wants me to relay all that stuff to His other children...my brothers and sisters.

Lord, help me to share You with the people in my life this week. I ask that you would present opportunities to talk about your goodness and love...especially with those who don't know You. Give me boldness and courage to carry out Your will for my life in this area. Amen.

A Monsoon of Tears

So I mentioned a couple days ago that I started reading a book by Max Lucado called "Next Door Savior: Near Enough to Touch. Strong Enough to Trust." The chapter I just read was really interesting. It's called "Grieving People" and it's based on John 11:1-44. Lucado has a pretty comical writing style. It's all Biblically based, but it's kind of funny. Hard to describe, but I'll try. Here's the beginning of the chapter...see what you think.

"You never know what to say at funerals. This one is no exception. The chapel is library quiet. People acknowledge each other with soft smiles and nods. You say nothing. What's to be said? There's a dead body in the place, for crying out loud! Just last month you took the guy out to lunch. You and Lazarus told jokes over nachos. Aside from a bad cough, you thought he was healthy. Within a week you learned of the diagnosis. The doctor gave him sixty days. He didn't make it that long. Now you're both at his funeral. He in the casket. You in the pew. Death has silenced you both. The church is full, so you stand at the back. Stained glass prisms the afternoon sun, streaking faces with shafts of purple and gold. You recognize many of them. Bethany is a small town. The two women on the front pew you know well. Martha and Mary are the sisters of Lazarus. Quiet, pensive Mary. Bustling, busy Martha. Even now she can't sit still. She keeps looking over her shoulder. Who for? you wonder."

Of course Martha is looking for Jesus. And when He comes, He embraces her. And she cries. Lucado writes, "You wonder what Jesus is going to do. You wonder what Jesus is going to say. He spoke to the winds and the demons. Remarkable. But death? Does he have anything to say about death? Your thoughts are interrupted by Martha's accusation: 'Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died' (John 11:21)". That sounds like our reaction to death, huh? We blame God...even though it's all part of His plan. We tell Him that if only He had been there, things might have been different. Ohh...how silly of us. Anyway, I don't think we can ever understand why God takes some people earlier than He takes others. Death is a sad thing, no doubt. Martha sat, feeling miserable and sad. "And Jesus sat in it with her. [...] Do you see a Savior with Terminator tenderness bypassing the tears of Martha and Mary and, in doing so, telling them and all grievers to buck up and trust? I don't. I don't because of what Jesus does next. He weeps. He sits on the pew between Mary and Martha, puts an arm around each, and sobs. Among the three, a tsunami of sorrow is stirred; a monsoon of tears is released. Tears that reduce to streaks the watercolor conceptions of a cavalier Christ. Jesus weeps. He weeps with them. He weeps for them. He weeps with you. He weeps for you. He weeps so we will know: Mourning is not disbelieving. Flooded eyes don't represent a faithless heart. A person can enter a cemetery Jesus-certain of life after death and still have a Twin Tower crater in the heart. Christ did. He wept, and he knew he was ten minutes from seeing a living Lazarus! And his tears give you permission to shed your own. Grief does not mean you don't trust; it simply means you can't stand the thought of another day without the Jacob or Lazarus of your life. If Jesus gave the love, he understands the tears. So grieve, but don't grieve like those who don't know the rest of this story."

Okay, so I know that was a lot...but I just really loved it. I love hearing that Jesus cried. And He didn't just cry...He wept. There was a "tsunami of sorrow" and a "monsoon of tears". Wow. That's a lot of tears flowing. How...encouraging? No, that's not the right word. How...humanizing? Maybe. It's just good to know that grieving is okay. And that crying doesn't mean that we don't trust God. I think a lot of times when I'm upset and feel like crying, I tell myself not to because it's showing that I don't trust that God will take care of it. That's only half true though. If I just cried for days and days and weeks and months...that would be an entirely different story. That would probably show that I didn't trust God. I don't think that's what Lucado is talking about here, though. Lucado is saying that grieving is not only a part of moving on, but it is a part of understanding Jesus' character. We are made in the image and likeness of Him, afterall. And He cried. So we can cry too. Just not "like those who don't know the rest of this story". :)

This is The Stuff

This song was stuck in my head all day at work today, and I feel like God was using it to speak to me. Here are the words, then I'll explain...

"This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use"

The song is called "This is The Stuff" by Francesca Battistelli, and it really spoke to me today. I had a bit of a crazy day at work. There was a member that got upset with one of my coworkers and decided it would be a good idea to yell about it in front of everyone at Costco. He said something really nasty to my coworker, who was doing nothing wrong. It made me sick to my stomach that someone would say something like that. To make a long story short, the man ended up refunding all his stuff and leaving the store, and I had to put all of his items back. The whole time, I was singing that part of "This is The Stuff". I thought, "This is the stuff that gets under my skin." But I just had to brush it off and get on with the day. Then later I was asked to close the deli department, which is my least favorite department in the entire warehouse. I just really hate it there...for many reasons. Anyway, the person that was supposed to close the deli called off work, so they sent me back there to clean up since I had experience in the department. As annoyed as I was that they asked me to clean back there, I just had to suck it up and do it. Most of the work was done, anyway, so there wasn't a whole lot to do. But that song started going through my head...I thought "This is the stuff that drives me crazy." But I think God was using that song to test me and see if I would let it get to me. Like that line says, "I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing." And that lines right up with what the Lord has been teaching me lately about trust. I just have to realize that when I have crazy days at work, God is trying to teach me something. I may not always realize it right then, but I think it's more beneficial to reflect on it afterwards anyway.

Thank You, Lord, for getting me through the day and being my hope. I do trust that You know exactly what You're doing. Help me not to get wrapped up in the small things that don't matter. Help me to get wrapped up only in Your love and mercy.

More Than Hungry

Psalm 63:
O God, you are my God-- for you I long!
For you my body yearns; for you my soul thirsts,
Like a land parched, lifeless, and without water.
So I look to you in the sanctuary to see your power and glory.
For your love is better than life; my lips offer you worship!

JJ Heller's song "Fly Away"
Stars call me closer
The earth is dragging me down
I want to be more than hungry
I want to live somewhere other than this old gray town

A.W. Tozer's prayer:
O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee;
I long to be filled with longing;
I thirst to be made more thirsty still.
Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed.

Lina and I have noticed lately that these three all have something in common. They all talk about being filled with God. Not just being filled with Him though, but letting Him fill us. They talk about wanting Him to satisfy our hunger and thirst. And then they talk about what will happen when we do let Him fill us. We will see His power and glory!

Lord, let these words be the prayer of my heart tonight. Help me to know what it is like to truly hunger and thirst for you. Amen.

My Most Handsome Prince

Lina and I had dinner at Patti's house tonight, and it was wonderful. If you aren't a usual reader of my blog, Patti is basically a second mother to me. She has been cooking delicious dinners for Lina and me for the past four years. :) Anyway, we had dinner tonight with her and her husband and topped it all off with some guitar playing and singing. Lina and I like to sing for our supper. :) We played a couple of our "classics", and then played a combination of "Dance With Me" by Paul Wilbur and "He Loves Us" by John Mark McMillan. They are both really beautiful songs and the choruses are pretty darn similar. We weaved them together pretty nicely and sang them for Patti and Ralph tonight. We had a wonderful conversation afterwards too. I'll let you in on that a little bit...

One of my favorite parts of "Dance With Me" is the part that says, "With You I will go. You are my love, You are my fair one." It reminds me of the last part of that prayer I posted the other day by A.W. Tozer (see http://beauty-all-around-me.blogspot.com/2011/03/give-me-grace.html). I just love it and I really feel like that's what God is putting on my heart lately. He wants me to just let go of everything and rest in Him. He wants to take me away from everything that only temporarily satisfies and give me what will satisfy my heart and soul forever. What do I say to that? "Anytime, Lord. Anytime." I also love "Dance With Me" because of the image I get when I hear the song:

Closing my eyes, I picture being in a large, beautiful ballroom. I picture Jesus, my most handsome prince, approaching me, extending His hand, and asking, "May I have this dance?" I happily agree, take His hand, and begin to dance with Him. He is the best, most graceful man I have ever danced with. He sweeps me off my feet and spins me around on the dance floor. He keeps in perfect time to the music, and He never steps on my feet. He twirls me around and around and I never get dizzy. I simply smile and my heart is filled with joy.

I hope you can imagine what that might be like. Because Jesus wants to do the same for you. He wants to dance with you too! Will you let Him? Guys reading this...I know you may not be able to picture being swept off your feet and twirled around on a dance floor, but just imagine being totally captivated by the One who loves you more than you could ever imagine. Imagine being in total bliss as you gaze into the eyes of the One who has the most beautiful plan for your life. You with me now?

As for "He Loves Us"...well, that's a beautiful song as well. I'm struck quite a bit by the first line "He is jealous for me." God really is jealous for us. Each and every one of us. Even the dirtiest, most sinful of us. He is jealous for us, especially for our time. I am convicted by this when I think about all the time I spend on Facebook...all the time I spend doing things that just do not glorify God. He wants all of me! Not just part of me. Not just 5 minutes before I go to bed. He wants to be involved in everything I do. Everything I speak. Everything I think. Everywhere I go. Whoa. Now THAT'S jealousy. But it's a good kind of jealousy...because think about who it is that we're talking about. It's God! The One who made us! The One who has a plan for our lives! The One who forgives us no matter what we do. The One knows all, sees all, and can do all. I don't know about you, but I certainly want to start letting such a significant person have a little bit more of my time each day.

Lord, help me to prioritize my time in a way that honors You. "Give me the grace to rise up and follow You." I ask that you be in my thoughts, my words, and my deeds. Give purpose to everything that I do, and convict me when I go astray. Amen.

Patience and Trust

I've been sitting here for fifteen minutes trying to put into words what God has been doing in my life lately. It's one thing to experience it, but a whole separate thing to really articulate it. I'll give it my best...

God has been teaching me a lot about patience and trust lately. Over and over again He's telling me "Just be patient. It'll all work out according to my perfect timing and my perfect plan." When I say, "But...I just can't wait" or "When, God?" He simply replies, "Trust me." So there I have it...patience and trust. As most of you know, I will be leaving the country at the end of August of this year for a GAP Year (year-long mission trip). I am very excited about what God has in store for me, but I don't know where I'm going yet. That's where the "When, God? When??" comes in. I just want to know! Instead of patiently waiting for an email back from the GAP Program coordinator and praying about the situation, I've been feeling a lot of anxiety. "What if I don't have enough time to raise all the money I need for the trip?" is a pretty frequent question in my mind lately. That goes right back to trust. Am I not trusting that God will provide the money I need no matter how much time I have to raise it? *Guilty* I know that God works in wonderful and powerful ways. I have seen it myself, both in my life and in others'. But why do I have such a hard time applying it to this situation? Am I too much of a planning person? I do like to have things organized, and I'm not much of a spontaneous person...so maybe that's what it is.

Lord, help me to be patient and trust in You that everything with my GAP Year is going to work out. I know that wherever they send me I will be doing Your work and glorifying You alone. Help me to understand that sometimes it's okay to not know. It tests our patience and reliance on You...which produces endurance. Grant me a peaceful sleep tonight and a good rest of the week. Amen.

Just Like Matthew

I just started reading a book by Max Lucado yesterday called Next Door Savior: Near Enough to Touch. Strong Enough to Trust. I have only read one book by Lucado before, and it was a children's book. So I kind of got a feel for his writing, but not really. One of the chapters I read in this book, though, was about Matthew. Lucado kind of "modernizes" Matthew...talking about his personality in a way that would make sense in this day and age. For example, Lucado writes, "You can bet he was shunned. The neighborhood cookouts? Never invited. High-school reunions? Somehow his name was left off the list. The guy was avoided like streptococcus A. Everybody kept his distance from Matthew" (21). So there probably weren't cookouts or high-school reunions back in Matthew's day. But you get the idea. Anyway, Lucado goes on to say that we are just like Matthew. He says, "There's enough hustler in the best of us to qualify for Matthew's table. Maybe you've never taken taxes, but you've taken liberty with the truth, taken credit that wasn't yours, taken advantage of the weak. You and me? Matthew" (24). The story Lucado writes about Matthew explains what kind of person he is and why Jesus chooses to eat with him (Jesus ate with both sinners and saints). He also explains what it means to follow Christ. It doesn't mean we have to be weird. It doesn't mean we have to stop hanging out with certain friends. Lucado says, "A few introductions would be nice" (24). This is kind of convicting to me. I think a lot of times, if I'm feeling iffy about a certain friendship...if I feel that it is not helping me grow in my relationship with the Lord, I often try to dismiss it. I don't talk to or hang out with that person as much, maybe. But Lucado is telling us that following Christ means the exact opposite of that! We are supposed to introduce that person to Christ! Hmm...that's a lot harder, eh? I think that's why I seem to always take "the easy way out" and just avoid certain relationships. But I know that God created us all...and that He loves us all...sinners and saints.

Lord, please help me to love all of Your children...sinners and saints. Help me to remain humble as I maintain friendships with those around me and as I make new friendships. Open my eyes to Your way of seeing, open my mind to Your way of thinking, and open my heart to Your way of loving.

Give Me the Grace

This is a prayer extracted from a wonderful book called The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. It is on my mind tonight as my eyes are getting tired, my neck hurts from writing my paper for so long, and my heart feels a bit distant from Christ. I hope you, too, find rest in it.

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness
and it has both satisfied me
and made me thirsty for more.
I am painfully conscious
of my need for further grace.
I am ashamed of my lack of desire.
O God, the triune God,
I want to want Thee.
I long to be filled with longing.
I thirst to be made more thirsty still.
Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee,
so that I may know Thee indeed.
Begin in mercy a new work of love within me.
*This is my favorite part*
Say to my soul,
"Rise up, my love, my fair one,
and come away."
Then give me the grace to rise
and follow Thee up from the misty lowland
where I have wandered so long."

Come, Sing, Fall, Cry, Dance, Fly

Well, I could go on and on about what a not-so-wonderful day I had today. I could talk about how much my brothers get on my nerves and drive me insane, and I could talk about how crazy work was today. But I don't want to do that. I'd rather say nothing about all of that than say something negative.

Lord, please strengthen my relationships with my brothers. Show me how to love them as You love them. Open my eyes to see each of them in a new light. Help me also to have a good week this week. I'll need Your strength to get through it, that's for sure. Help me to stay focused and keep my eyes fixed on You.

As I was feeling super unmotivated here, a song (Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus) - Chris Rice) came on Pandora that seemed to speak to me a bit. I had heard the song before, but this time I laid my head down, closed my eyes, and just listened.

"Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live"