I had a really nice night tonight. I got off work an hour early, so that was good. Then my drive back to the apartment was wonderful. Yes, the roads were crazy-bad. There was about 6 inches of snow when I left work, and it just kept coming as I drove to Ypsilanti. But I just drove super slow, turned on my music, and opened the bag of kettle corn (the best!) I just bought from Costco. It was such a relaxing drive home. It took me an hour when it normally takes a half hour, but for the first time, I really didn't mind it. :) When I got home I enjoyed some quality bonding-time with my roommate Lina. We painted our toes together, and then she played guitar and sang to me while I painted my fingernails. I now have freshly painted fingernails and toenails. Ahhh. :) What a wonderful way to start off this going-to-be-crazy week! There's something about the shiny look and smooth feel of a fresh coat of nail polish that I just really love. Anyway, enough about that.
God has been talking to me about truly confiding in Him. He wants me to just tell Him everything...especially the things I'm afraid to talk about with other people. He wants me to just run to Him and let everything out...my good times, my happiness, my troubles, and my tears. And He will be there with open arms and a listening ear. He will listen, wipe away my tears, and understand. I don't have to call first and let Him know I'm dropping by, I don't have to coordinate schedules with Him to work out a convenient time, and I don't have to feel bad about doing all the talking. That's more than any of my friends...even the really good ones...can ever do. That's what He's been teaching me lately. I didn't realize I was holding anything back until this past Thursday when I went to Holy Trinity church to do homework. I have really enjoyed using their student lounge this semester during my breaks from class. It's been awesome having a place not too far from class to get a snack, work on my homework, and take a nap. It's been really wonderful. I think sometimes I forget where I am though, and I forget there's a church upstairs. So on Thursday I walked up there and was struck by how beautifully silent it was. There was no one in the church (except for God of course), and the doors were wide open. How inviting. :) I took a few steps inside and then really felt God drawing me closer. As I continued walking in, I started crying. I think they were happy tears, but I really can't be too sure. I just sat down in one of the pews and cried. Then I just listened for what God might want to say to me. He basically said, "My lovely daughter, why haven't you included me in this situation? You know that I know what's best for you...". I knew exactly what situation He was talking about. And I think I knew why I had been excluding Him. I forgot about His unending mercy, His great great love for me, and His open arms. I think I just assumed He was another one of my friends. A friend that would say "I told you so." But God is not just another one of my friends. How silly of me! Anyway, it felt great to just be in God's presence like that and cry. I was so comforted. :)
Here's my words of wisdom for you all:
1. Paint your nails (if you're a lady reading this).
2. Talk (AND LISTEN) to God more often this week.
3. Don't hold anything back from Him. It's just not worth it.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
What if I just said no?
So, I won't lie...looking at my schedule this week in Google Calendar makes my head hurt. I've closed the window now and I am writing here instead. Between classes, homework, UCO (University Christian Outreach) meetings, Cru (Campus Crusade for Christ) meetings, advising appointments (to get things straightened out for graduation), teaching guitar lessons (to raise money for my GAP year...more on that later), MORE HOMEWORK, working about 24 hours every weekend, MORE HOMEWORK, and sleep, I don't have much breathing room. Do I over-pack my schedule? Possibly. Am I trying to do too much? Maybe. Do I still have time to spend with God? Yes. Honestly I do. He's the reason I'm not completely insane right now. I just sometimes sit back and wonder what my schedule would be like if I just starting saying "no" to stuff. No to weekly meetings, no to class and homework (wouldn't that be nice?), no to work (again...that would be nice!), no to lunch dates with friends, no no no.
I think my schedule would be a lot more open. But the key question, then, is this: Would I actually use all of that free time wisely? Probably not. Having such a busy schedule has taught me a few things about myself. It has taught me first of all that procrastination is a really really bad idea. With all these things going on, if I put off an assignment, I will probably never do it. I have learned to make use of the breaks between classes, the time I would normally spend chatting with friends on Facebook, and the time when I could be watching TV while I'm eating. Sometimes it's those little moments that make all the difference. And the biggest thing I've learned about procrastination is this: those assignments that the professor assigns at the beginning of the semester and say you have all semester to work on them...I need to start doing them (or at least thinking about them) as soon as possible. That makes for a much less stressful end-of-the-semester. Another thing I've learned about myself is that being involved in two different Christian groups at school has really helped shape me as a person. Sometimes on Tuesday and Thursday nights I just feel like sitting home and doing homework instead of going to UCO or Cru. So why don't I? I consider it, but I always end up going to the meetings because I hear God saying that He has something He wants to tell me. And you know what? He always does. I go to those meetings and hear the sweet words of my heavenly Father telling me how much He loves me, how beautiful and precious I am, and how important it is to tell others about Him. Hearing those things gives me such peace and joy! I don't exactly get those same feelings doing homework. Also, because I go to the meetings even when I don't feel like it, God blesses me for it. He helps me study and focus on schoolwork when I need to focus. Win-win. :)
Now, moving on from my crazy schedule...
Assuming everything will work out with my advisors, I am going to graduate with my bachelor's degree in speech language pathology in April of this year. Wahoo! :) I am then planning on working all summer and fundraising for my GAP year (September 2011-Summer 2012). For those of you who have not read my previous posts (or haven't talked to me about it), I am going on a year-long international mission/service trip next year. I will be taking a year off from work and school, and I will be serving God and furthering His kingdom in either Ireland, England, or Belgium. I was accepted to the program last September, but because I applied so early I have not found out my exact location yet. I just know that I have to raise about $9-10,000 before I leave in September. Yeah, that's no small amount. I am really depending on support from friends, family, and even strangers to make this GAP year happen. I know that God has called me to serve Him for a year, so I am counting on Him to help bring in the support. If you feel called AT ALL to help me (whether through prayer or financial support), please let me know. Send me an email (rc1120@gmail.com), leave me a message on Facebook, or call me. I am planning on sending out a letter with more information once I find out exactly where I'm going and what I'll be doing, but I just wanted to give you all a heads up. Please pray about this...see if God asks you to help me out. Even if it's just $5 or $10...that would help me. And of course the power of prayer is amazing...so if you can't afford to give financially, I greatly appreciate prayers. :)
I hope you all are doing well. Keep me in your prayers that God will grant me peace and joy. I'll be praying for the same for all of you unless I hear differently. Feel free to share prayer requests with me!
I think my schedule would be a lot more open. But the key question, then, is this: Would I actually use all of that free time wisely? Probably not. Having such a busy schedule has taught me a few things about myself. It has taught me first of all that procrastination is a really really bad idea. With all these things going on, if I put off an assignment, I will probably never do it. I have learned to make use of the breaks between classes, the time I would normally spend chatting with friends on Facebook, and the time when I could be watching TV while I'm eating. Sometimes it's those little moments that make all the difference. And the biggest thing I've learned about procrastination is this: those assignments that the professor assigns at the beginning of the semester and say you have all semester to work on them...I need to start doing them (or at least thinking about them) as soon as possible. That makes for a much less stressful end-of-the-semester. Another thing I've learned about myself is that being involved in two different Christian groups at school has really helped shape me as a person. Sometimes on Tuesday and Thursday nights I just feel like sitting home and doing homework instead of going to UCO or Cru. So why don't I? I consider it, but I always end up going to the meetings because I hear God saying that He has something He wants to tell me. And you know what? He always does. I go to those meetings and hear the sweet words of my heavenly Father telling me how much He loves me, how beautiful and precious I am, and how important it is to tell others about Him. Hearing those things gives me such peace and joy! I don't exactly get those same feelings doing homework. Also, because I go to the meetings even when I don't feel like it, God blesses me for it. He helps me study and focus on schoolwork when I need to focus. Win-win. :)
Now, moving on from my crazy schedule...
Assuming everything will work out with my advisors, I am going to graduate with my bachelor's degree in speech language pathology in April of this year. Wahoo! :) I am then planning on working all summer and fundraising for my GAP year (September 2011-Summer 2012). For those of you who have not read my previous posts (or haven't talked to me about it), I am going on a year-long international mission/service trip next year. I will be taking a year off from work and school, and I will be serving God and furthering His kingdom in either Ireland, England, or Belgium. I was accepted to the program last September, but because I applied so early I have not found out my exact location yet. I just know that I have to raise about $9-10,000 before I leave in September. Yeah, that's no small amount. I am really depending on support from friends, family, and even strangers to make this GAP year happen. I know that God has called me to serve Him for a year, so I am counting on Him to help bring in the support. If you feel called AT ALL to help me (whether through prayer or financial support), please let me know. Send me an email (rc1120@gmail.com), leave me a message on Facebook, or call me. I am planning on sending out a letter with more information once I find out exactly where I'm going and what I'll be doing, but I just wanted to give you all a heads up. Please pray about this...see if God asks you to help me out. Even if it's just $5 or $10...that would help me. And of course the power of prayer is amazing...so if you can't afford to give financially, I greatly appreciate prayers. :)
I hope you all are doing well. Keep me in your prayers that God will grant me peace and joy. I'll be praying for the same for all of you unless I hear differently. Feel free to share prayer requests with me!
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