Sunday, February 20, 2011

Beautifully Silent

I had a really nice night tonight. I got off work an hour early, so that was good. Then my drive back to the apartment was wonderful. Yes, the roads were crazy-bad. There was about 6 inches of snow when I left work, and it just kept coming as I drove to Ypsilanti. But I just drove super slow, turned on my music, and opened the bag of kettle corn (the best!) I just bought from Costco. It was such a relaxing drive home. It took me an hour when it normally takes a half hour, but for the first time, I really didn't mind it. :) When I got home I enjoyed some quality bonding-time with my roommate Lina. We painted our toes together, and then she played guitar and sang to me while I painted my fingernails. I now have freshly painted fingernails and toenails. Ahhh. :) What a wonderful way to start off this going-to-be-crazy week! There's something about the shiny look and smooth feel of a fresh coat of nail polish that I just really love. Anyway, enough about that.

God has been talking to me about truly confiding in Him. He wants me to just tell Him everything...especially the things I'm afraid to talk about with other people. He wants me to just run to Him and let everything out...my good times, my happiness, my troubles, and my tears. And He will be there with open arms and a listening ear. He will listen, wipe away my tears, and understand. I don't have to call first and let Him know I'm dropping by, I don't have to coordinate schedules with Him to work out a convenient time, and I don't have to feel bad about doing all the talking. That's more than any of my friends...even the really good ones...can ever do. That's what He's been teaching me lately. I didn't realize I was holding anything back until this past Thursday when I went to Holy Trinity church to do homework. I have really enjoyed using their student lounge this semester during my breaks from class. It's been awesome having a place not too far from class to get a snack, work on my homework, and take a nap. It's been really wonderful. I think sometimes I forget where I am though, and I forget there's a church upstairs. So on Thursday I walked up there and was struck by how beautifully silent it was. There was no one in the church (except for God of course), and the doors were wide open. How inviting. :) I took a few steps inside and then really felt God drawing me closer. As I continued walking in, I started crying. I think they were happy tears, but I really can't be too sure. I just sat down in one of the pews and cried. Then I just listened for what God might want to say to me. He basically said, "My lovely daughter, why haven't you included me in this situation? You know that I know what's best for you...". I knew exactly what situation He was talking about. And I think I knew why I had been excluding Him. I forgot about His unending mercy, His great great love for me, and His open arms. I think I just assumed He was another one of my friends. A friend that would say "I told you so." But God is not just another one of my friends. How silly of me! Anyway, it felt great to just be in God's presence like that and cry. I was so comforted. :)

Here's my words of wisdom for you all:
1. Paint your nails (if you're a lady reading this).
2. Talk (AND LISTEN) to God more often this week.
3. Don't hold anything back from Him. It's just not worth it.

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