Patience and Trust

I've been sitting here for fifteen minutes trying to put into words what God has been doing in my life lately. It's one thing to experience it, but a whole separate thing to really articulate it. I'll give it my best...

God has been teaching me a lot about patience and trust lately. Over and over again He's telling me "Just be patient. It'll all work out according to my perfect timing and my perfect plan." When I say, "But...I just can't wait" or "When, God?" He simply replies, "Trust me." So there I have it...patience and trust. As most of you know, I will be leaving the country at the end of August of this year for a GAP Year (year-long mission trip). I am very excited about what God has in store for me, but I don't know where I'm going yet. That's where the "When, God? When??" comes in. I just want to know! Instead of patiently waiting for an email back from the GAP Program coordinator and praying about the situation, I've been feeling a lot of anxiety. "What if I don't have enough time to raise all the money I need for the trip?" is a pretty frequent question in my mind lately. That goes right back to trust. Am I not trusting that God will provide the money I need no matter how much time I have to raise it? *Guilty* I know that God works in wonderful and powerful ways. I have seen it myself, both in my life and in others'. But why do I have such a hard time applying it to this situation? Am I too much of a planning person? I do like to have things organized, and I'm not much of a spontaneous person...so maybe that's what it is.

Lord, help me to be patient and trust in You that everything with my GAP Year is going to work out. I know that wherever they send me I will be doing Your work and glorifying You alone. Help me to understand that sometimes it's okay to not know. It tests our patience and reliance on You...which produces endurance. Grant me a peaceful sleep tonight and a good rest of the week. Amen.