Missed Him

Much has changed since my last blog post. I have come back out of my spiritual dryness and have had some really great prayer times lately. Besides that article about journaling that I shared, a talk that I went to at my church really inspired me. The title of the talk was "The Smelly Stable," and it was basically about how our lives are a mess, and we often think we need to clean them up before we can let God back in. I know this is true a lot of times for me...I'll be stressed about school or work, get caught up in too much homework, and not be devoting any time to God. I'll think to myself, "Well, once I get my homework done, I'll start praying again" or "Once work gets less stressful, I'll have better prayer times." I never really thought "I want to have better prayer times now." It was always later, later, later. Well, I know from experience that sometimes later never comes. To get out of my spiritual dryness and my feelings of being overwhelmed and stressed, I needed to just start praying and talking to God again. Even though I didn't feel like it. And so I did...and gosh, I realized two things: 1) I really missed talking to Him, and 2) He really missed me!

My journal is caught up a bit more now, and I have been starting my mornings off by reading scripture or listening to Joyce Meyer on the radio. How much more smoothly my days go when I start them like this. The difference is truly amazing. :) I was able to get through finals week without too much stress, and now I know I will enjoy my Christmas break. I am looking forward to working more hours, resting on my days off, and spending time with my family and close friends. I hope you all had a good finals week and I wish you all a Merry Christmas. Bring it on, 2011!

Dry Time

I have been struggling lately with having a consistent prayer time. I have gotten pretty caught up in school and other things and I just haven't spent as much time in God's presence. Sure I've still been going to Mass, Cru, and UCO, but I haven't been reading my Bible every day, and I haven't been talking and listening to the Lord in quiet times. I also haven't been journaling, which is a big passion of mine. I love writing in a journal. It's a great way to record the ups and downs (and there are many!) of my spiritual life. I write about my successes, my failures, witnesses of God's work in my life, and prayers that I hold in my heart. When I'm having a rough day, I flip through my journal to an entry about a really great day, and my mood significantly brightens. My journal serves as proof that God really can stamp out the devil and his lies. I read a really great article about journaling yesterday in Joyce Meyer's magazine. It really spoke to my heart and confirmed what I had been feeling about my spiritual life. I'd like you all to read it, so I'll copy it here:

"Connecting With Your Heavenly Father" - Ginger Stache

The day I left home for college my dad gave me a gift, a yellow journal. He told me that he loved me and was going to miss our time together while I was away. He said my heavenly Father also loves me and craves spending time with me even more.

That yellow journal really cemented what my family had already taught me--spending time with God is not just a good idea; it's a necessity. Today I have a drawer full of journals documenting the ups and downs of my time with God.

I've been far from perfect. There are chunks of time missing here and there. Some of those periods I was devoting time to God but I wasn't writing. Other times I must admit, I was silent.

I went through one particularly trying period when I just couldn't write. It was one of the most difficult times of my life--a dry time with God. During this time most things in my life were shaken, including my confidence. There were many reasons those days were difficult but looking back I must ask myself, were they dry with God because He was silent or because I was?

You see, God is always faithful, and as my fervor for time with Him was renewed, so was my spirit and my confidence; however, I did not resume journaling. I cherished our time together but I was holding back my greatest passion--writing.

Then I received another gift. This time it was Joyce who gave me a journal, a pink one--so like her--with a note inside saying, "I thought I would help you get started journaling again." She knew just what I needed and it's what we all need--intimacy with God. For me, that comes through spending time in His Word and sharing my heart. For you it may be slightly different but it always involves giving Him our time.

I have learned over the years that my time with Him, reading the Bible, praying, and writing, is some of the sweetest of my life. I need it for survival. If you're not sure, give it a shot and I guarantee you'll see that it is a worthwhile investment. Some of you are saying, "How do I possibly find the time?" and I understand. It can be difficult with so many things pulling on us. Take it where you can. Schedule a few minutes where you can grab them and go from there.

I challenge you to make a commitment: Grab your Bible, a devotional you like, perhaps even a yellow or pink journal. This is a great time of year to begin, so do it now for you and for your family.

Give God your love and your time. Your Father misses you."

I found a lot of encouragement in that, and I hope you did as well. Please keep me in your prayers as I get things back on track with my spiritual journey.

Blessings

It has been a little while, and I just want to reflect on God's goodness since then. I had a most wonderful 22nd birthday celebration, and I thank every single person that was somehow a part of it. It started the night before my birthday, when my mom bought me a "Birthday Princess" pin to wear to work the next day. I woke up the following morning for work, and my dad was in the kitchen preparing his special pancakes...Swedish pancakes. They're very similar to crepes, and they're my dad's best thing to cook. So I had a wonderful breakfast before I left for work. My day at work went pretty well. I had just started training as a cashier (I was a cashier assistant before), so it's been pretty exciting. It was pretty fun having all of the Costco members wish me a Happy Birthday. Sometimes I forgot I was wearing the pin, so I thought "How did you know it was my birthday?!" ...and then I looked down at my shirt. :) About halfway through my day, I had a surprise visit from my friend Jennifer and her grandmother Sittie. They brought me a HUGE bouquet of fresh flowers...with mostly Gerber Daisies, my favorite. :)



I was all smiles the rest of the day, and then came home to find a little surprise from my roommate Lina: pink streamers hanging in my bedroom doorway, plus a Happy Birthday balloon. :)



I changed out of my work clothes and freshened up a bit, then borrowed a birthday outfit from Lina. She and I share clothes a lot...it's usually one way (her borrowing from me), but this time I was successful in finding something I liked. :) My parents came over to my apartment to let me open my gifts from them before we all went out to dinner. My brothers came too, and it was really nice to see them dressed up.



We went out to dinner at Weber's in Ann Arbor, and the food was really delicious! There was a band that played afterwards, so that was fun as well. It was nice to spend some time with my whole family on my birthday. After we had finished eating, I headed back to my apartment to hang out with Lina...and to go find something free for my birthday. We ended up going to downtown Ann Arbor to get a free smoothie at Bubble Island. :) We hung out there for a while, then went for a long walk around town. It was freezing cold outside, but we really enjoyed just walking and talking.

The following day, Sunday, I went to church and then headed straight for work. We had quite the busy day at Costco, with everyone buying things for Thanksgiving. The day went by pretty quickly and I came home to find the apartment clean and decorated for my party that evening. :) Thanks Lina, Jennifer, and Kayla for your time and dedication! It was really nice to walk through that door after work and see the party all set up. I just had to be the birthday girl. :) The party had a really nice turnout. A bunch of my friends from UCO and Cru came, so it was good to see everyone meeting eachother and having a good time.



After the party, Jennifer stayed the night and helped Lina and me clean up the mess. It wasn't too bad to clean with three of us though, so that was nice. All in all, with my special day at work, dinner with my parents, and the party with my friends, I had a really great 22nd birthday. I am so thankful for such wonderful friends and family. I praise God for them everyday. :)

It's Thanksgiving Day now, and I'm looking forward to eating some great food and visiting with my cousins later. As I mentioned before, I am really grateful for what God has blessed me with...wonderful friends, great family, perfect health, and the constant reminders of His great love for me. I hope you all have a nice Thanksgiving (and Jennifer--Happy 24th Birthday!!), and that you enjoy spending time with your family.

God bless!

You are Special

I am very touched, and always have been, by the book You are Special by Max Lucado. It's a children's book about wooden people called Wemmicks. The Wemmicks walk around giving eachother star and dot stickers. They get stars if they're good, and dots if they're bad. Punchinello, the main character of the book, always gets dots. He falls down a lot, his paint is chipped, etc. So people give him dots. He meets a Wemmick named Lucia who has no dots...and no stars. He asks her how she does it, and she tells Punchinello that she just doesn't let the stickers stick. She goes to see Eli, the woodmaker, every day and he reminds her that he thinks she's pretty special. Punchinello wants to be just like Lucia, so he goes to see Eli too. Sure enough, Eli tells Punchinello how much he loves him because he made him...and he doesn't make mistakes. After hearing this, Punchinello walked away believing that it didn't matter what the others thought...as long as he was loved by Eli. And while he walked away, a dot fell off. :) Now, I just summed up the story pretty quickly, but isn't it great? If you couldn't pick up the Christian symbolism, try reading it again. It's a wonderful story of God's love for us...and that that's all that matters. :)

I bring up this story because in my Theater for Children class, we had to pick a Children's story and adapt it for theater. I picked You are Special because I love it so much and I can really picture it coming to life on a stage. I had a great time writing the script for this play...it was definitely one of the more enjoyable homework assignments I've done. After we've all shared our adaptations with the class, we'll vote on one of them that we get to perform for the Children's Institute (on campus). I really think it'd be great if my script gets picked. I think that it would be an amazing opportunity to share Jesus with my class and a group of children...even if this is a story about wooden people. :) Please pray that if God wills, my story will be picked.

Mint Brownie recipe

I went home last night to have dessert with my family for my mom's birthday, and I made some really awesome mint brownies. My mom really loves mint-chocolate, so I found a recipe on hersheys.com for some really good Peppermint Pattie Brownies, and boy oh boy were they good! I'd like to share the recipe with you all, but don't freak out by the massive amount of eggs, butter, and sugar. They're BROWNIES, people. :) And they're delicious.

Sensational Peppermint Pattie Brownies

Ingredients:
24 small YORK Peppermint Patties (I actually used a larger bag of about 36)
1-1/2 cups (3 sticks) butter or margarine, melted
3 cups sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
5 eggs
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup Hershey's cocoa (unsweetened, not Special Dark)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt

Directions:
1. Heat oven to 350 degrees. Remove wrappers from peppermint patties. Grease 13x9x2 inch baking pan.
2. Stir together butter, sugar, and vanilla in a large bowl. Add eggs; beat until well blended. Stir in flour, cocoa, baking powder, and salt; blend well. Reserve 2 cups batter. Spread remaining batter in prepared pan. Arrange peppermint patties about 1/2 inch apart in single layer over batter. Spread reserved two cups batter over patties.
3. Bake 50-55 minutes or until brownies begin to pull away from the sides of the pan. Cool completely (I put Andes Mint baking bits on top right when they came out of the oven) in pan on wire rack; cut into squares. About 36 brownies.

Enjoy! These brownies are super sweet, so have a glass of milk handy. :)

Sidenote: you may be wondering, why is there a recipe for brownies on your blog? Isn't this supposed to be about how God is working in your life? Yes, yes it is. And this is how God's working: He's showing me the delicious beauty of mint brownies. :)

God Provides

This past week I did something really hard. I sacrificed food every day for my friend. After talking on the phone with her last weekend, I heard the Lord telling me to fast for her. Although I couldn't relate to what she was going through, I could do something extremely difficult and offer it up for her. So last week I drank only liquids...water, juice, milk, broth. And I prayed extra hard for my friend. I had some really powerful prayer times, as the Lord speaks extra loudly and more clearly when we fast. He gave me such great strength to make it through the week...and to resist all cravings I had to eat. I truly believe that God has the power to satisfy our physical hunger with a much more wonderful spiritual feast. I am meeting with my friend tomorrow night to talk, and I know that God will bless our conversation and give me an understanding heart to listen to what she has to say.

On another note, I've really been enjoying working as a cashier assistant at Costco. I get to talk to a whole new set of employees. It's kind of like I'm new all over again...but in a good way, because I'm not completely lost. :) I get to interact with the members all day, which is fun, and I don't have to mess around with chicken grease like I did in the deli. :) I spent this whole weekend at home, and it's been really nice...like a little retreat. My dad is away on a business trip, so it stinks that I can't see him, but being with my mom is just wonderful. She has such a bright, cheery attitude all the time, and we really have some awesome conversations about how God's working in our lives. She is such wonderful encouragement to my spiritual journey.

I am still planning on doing a GAP year next year, but as of now I don't know where I'm going. I'll find out in March of next year, so I still have a while. I've been saving my money little by little and I have no doubt that God will provide the rest. Please pray for me as I plan and prepare for this next chapter of my life. :)

Show me, Lord

Well my friend came back...or at least is starting to. The one that I had been losing for a little while now. She finally sent me a message and explained to me a little bit of what was going on in her life. Without going into specifics, she basically told me what I thought she would say: she didn't think she could talk to me about what she had done and how her life was going because she didn't think I would understand and/or approve. This breaks my heart. It hurts to feel like a closed door. It hurts to hear someone say that I'm perfect and they're not, and that's why they can't talk to me. I tried to argue that I am in no way perfect, but that really didn't fly. I may not have done the same things, made the same mistakes, or sinned the same ways, but I certainly am in need of God's grace every day, multiple times. Why can't people see that? Yes, I am in love with Jesus Christ, believe in His saving power, and have a strong relationship with Him. But that definitely does not mean that I don't fall down and need help.

While talking with my friend tonight, I realized that I am going through this difficult situation as kind of a training session. God is disciplining me and showing me how to love my brothers and sisters in Christ, with love and without judgement. I also realized that I have excellent friends and family to support me in prayer during these difficult times. My roommate Lina is especially wonderful. She always offers a hand to hold, and she pats my back and lets me cry. I love it when we pray together, too. I know that her words are directly from the Lord because they're always exactly what I need to hear. My mom has also been incredibly supportive lately. I stayed a couple nights at home this weekend for work, and my mom did my laundry, made me breakfast before work, packed my lunch for work, and prayed with me when I needed prayer. I called her tonight to update her about my friend, and she really had some great advice. She also offered to pray for me and my friend this week, so I'm grateful for that as well.

Whew. Enough of that. I hope you all had a good Halloween weekend. I dressed up as a golfer (Lina's idea) for the Cru Halloween party on Thursday, and I dressed up as a pirate today for work. I wasn't planning on dressing up for work, but I found a cool pirate costume in my parents' basement toy chest. Who knew?! It was fun seeing my coworkers dressed up too, and I think the Costco members got a kick out of our outfits. :)