A Battle

I went to a talk at my church tonight about the Catholic mass. It wasn't quite what I was expecting...I think I expected more of an explanation as to why we do certain things and why we pray certain prayers. So much of the Catholic mass is routine-y, and I often go to mass and go through the motions (sit, stand, kneel, pray, repeat) without really thinking about it. I know that's definitely not the point of mass. My priest said, "The more we engage in full, active, conscious participation, the more our hearts will be open to everything the Lord has for us." I know I am guilty of not engaging in that full, active, conscious participation in mass sometimes. It's so easy to do! But just thinking about how much more God will be glorified if I give Him my full attention at mass makes me super excited. Anyway, another thing my priest talked about was why we come to mass. It's not about getting something out of it. It's about 1) Worshipping God, and 2) the sanctification of the human person. That was pretty awesome to hear. I know sometimes I feel like I'm going to mass on Sunday morning because I have to. Sometimes it just doesn't go through my head that I'm going there to worship God and to become more holy. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not always going out of obligation...I really do like going to mass. I just know that I need to really prepare my heart more before going to mass on Sunday. This preparation will not only help me to give more glory to God during mass, but it will also fight off the spiritual attacks of the devil. He absolutely HATES what goes on at mass...the praying, the singing, the praising God, the celebration of the Eucharist (body and blood of Christ), the reading of the scriptures, everything. So he does everything he can to sabotage our minds before we leave for mass...so much so that when we walk through the church doors we can hardly focus on the wonderful celebration of the mass. We can hardly give God our all and praise Him with everything in us because the devil has attacked...and I think sometimes we let him. Without even knowing it. That's the scary part. BUT now we know that the devil attacks when he knows that we're going to be worshipping God...so what are we going to do about it? Pray for protection, that's what. "It's easier to fight in the war when you know there's a battle coming."

Lord, thank You for being present during the talk at church tonight. I ask that You protect me in my weak moments. Be my stronghold and my deliverer. And St. Michael, I ask for your intercession as well: "St. Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do Thou, O Prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen."

Captivate Us

I listened to a really beautiful song tonight. It's very much like a love letter to God from us, His children. Before you read the lyrics, I want to define a couple of words [via Free Online Dictionary]:

captivate :
to attract and hold by charm, beauty, or excellence

devastate :
to destroy; to overwhelm; to bring to ruin or desolation

abide :
to remain in a place; to continue to be sure or firm; endure; dwell

divine :
supremely good or beautiful; magnificent; extremely pleasant; delightful; heavenly; perfect

fellowship :
the state of sharing mutual interests, experiences, or activities; companionship; friendship

yoke :
a bond or tie

burden :
a source of great worry or stress; weight

wisdom :
the ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting

might :
strength or ability to do something

Now that I've set the stage a little bit, here are the lyrics to Captivate Us by Watermark.

"Your face is beautiful
and Your eyes are like the stars
Your gentle hands have healing
there inside the scars
Your loving arms they draw me near
And Your smile it brings me peace
Draw me closer oh my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee

Captivate us, Lord Jesus set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence falling down
And rushing river, draw us nearer
Holy fountain consume us with You
Captivate us Lord Jesus, with You

Your voice is powerful
and Your words are radiant bright
In Your breath and shadow
I will come close and abide
You whisper love and life divine
and Your fellowship is free
Draw me closer O my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee

Let everything be lost in the shadows
of the light of Your face
Let every chain be broken from me
as I’m bound in Your grace
For Your yoke is easy, Your burden is light
You’re full of wisdom, power and might
And every eye will see You"

I think it really helps to know the meaning of some of those words. It really adds beauty and truth to the song. Anyway, I just really love the words of this. It's such a lovely prayer to God...especially that first verse. When my friend Jennifer told me to listen to it and that she thought I'd like it, I opened up Google, typed it in, listened, and fell in love. It's just so beautiful. Here's the URL if you'd like to have a listen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vcezx5Rl7sA. I highly recommend it. :)

Lord, captivate me tonight. Hold my attention with Your charm, beauty, and excellence. Devastate me, O God. Tear apart everything that is not holy in me, and replace it with Your holiness and perfection. I want to abide in You. Be my firm foundation and my friend forever. I know that You long to give me a life that is beautiful, magnificent, pleasant, and perfect. Give me the strength to accept You and Your divine plan for my life. Amen.

Meeting Needs

Today I learned about washing feet. It doesn't just mean getting someone's feet clean. That's just the surface-level meaning of the ritual. Jesus washed his disciples' feet in order to serve them. That's what it's really all about. Washing feet means finding a need, and meeting that need. I listened to Joyce Meyer's radio broadcast again tonight and her words really blessed me. She talked about how humbling it is to do things for others. That means doing things without expecting anything in return. Just selfless giving. Joyce makes an interesting point...she says, "Even if we're willing to do stuff for other people, we're much more likely to do stuff for people we like and know...because after all, they'll probably tell us how wonderful we are. When it comes to doing something for someone that you don't know....don't have any natural interest in other than that God loves them...there's a different story." Why is it so much easier to do things for people we already know? What are we afraid of? What am I afraid of? Rejection? Weird looks? Not getting anything in return? I don't know. But something sure is keeping me back, I think. Otherwise I'd be doing things for other people left and right.

Here's a question Joyce says to ask ourselves: "Do I see helping others as a divine opportunity from God or as an unwanted interruption in my plan?" Hmmm...when it's put that way, I guess I don't always see serving others as "divine opportunities". I mean, sometimes I do...like when I was in Detroit for spring break. But most of the time when I think about serving someone I think "Ughh...I just don't have time to stop and talk to that person" or "I'll do it tomorrow." That's not exactly a very good approach to the situation. When God calls us to help someone or serve one of our brothers or sisters in any way, we need to step up and do it. Here's the thing: God will take care of us and all of our needs when we take care of others. That's all there is to it.

God, thank You for giving me opportunities to serve my brothers and sisters, but I apologize for the times when I haven't been willing to carry out that call in serving them. Please continue to place people in my path that You want me to reach out to...and show me the boldness and courage that it takes to serve them as You would. Amen.

Others

From the book of Genesis... "I will bless you and I will make you a blessing, causing you to dispense good to others."

"Everything that God does for us, He expects to flow through us." These are some words of wisdom from the lovely Joyce Meyer. While listening to her radio broadcast tonight, I was struck by this idea of showing Christ's love to others. It's not that I've never heard of that before, it's just that it hit me differently this time. I think the Lord might be telling me to do more for others during this time in my life. He's been speaking to me all sorts of awesome things, showing me His love in incredible ways, and teaching me some important life lessons. But that stuff doesn't mean a thing if I can't show it to others and tell them how much Christ loves them and wants to do the same for them too. I always reap the benefits and praise God for His good works in my life, but I think I often forget the second (and very important) part of this whole thing--sharing it with others! This reminds me of bad professors...you know the kind. They're the ones that are super smart and know everything there is to know about a subject, but when it comes time to teaching that material to their students, they just can't do it. I know I've had quite a few professors like that in these last few years of classes. It's not good! I'm the one confused and left out while they've got all the knowledge and good stuff. Get what I mean? I feel like the Lord is warning me not to become like a bad professor. He wants to tell me things, show me His love, and teach me His ways, but He also wants me to relay all that stuff to His other children...my brothers and sisters.

Lord, help me to share You with the people in my life this week. I ask that you would present opportunities to talk about your goodness and love...especially with those who don't know You. Give me boldness and courage to carry out Your will for my life in this area. Amen.

A Monsoon of Tears

So I mentioned a couple days ago that I started reading a book by Max Lucado called "Next Door Savior: Near Enough to Touch. Strong Enough to Trust." The chapter I just read was really interesting. It's called "Grieving People" and it's based on John 11:1-44. Lucado has a pretty comical writing style. It's all Biblically based, but it's kind of funny. Hard to describe, but I'll try. Here's the beginning of the chapter...see what you think.

"You never know what to say at funerals. This one is no exception. The chapel is library quiet. People acknowledge each other with soft smiles and nods. You say nothing. What's to be said? There's a dead body in the place, for crying out loud! Just last month you took the guy out to lunch. You and Lazarus told jokes over nachos. Aside from a bad cough, you thought he was healthy. Within a week you learned of the diagnosis. The doctor gave him sixty days. He didn't make it that long. Now you're both at his funeral. He in the casket. You in the pew. Death has silenced you both. The church is full, so you stand at the back. Stained glass prisms the afternoon sun, streaking faces with shafts of purple and gold. You recognize many of them. Bethany is a small town. The two women on the front pew you know well. Martha and Mary are the sisters of Lazarus. Quiet, pensive Mary. Bustling, busy Martha. Even now she can't sit still. She keeps looking over her shoulder. Who for? you wonder."

Of course Martha is looking for Jesus. And when He comes, He embraces her. And she cries. Lucado writes, "You wonder what Jesus is going to do. You wonder what Jesus is going to say. He spoke to the winds and the demons. Remarkable. But death? Does he have anything to say about death? Your thoughts are interrupted by Martha's accusation: 'Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died' (John 11:21)". That sounds like our reaction to death, huh? We blame God...even though it's all part of His plan. We tell Him that if only He had been there, things might have been different. Ohh...how silly of us. Anyway, I don't think we can ever understand why God takes some people earlier than He takes others. Death is a sad thing, no doubt. Martha sat, feeling miserable and sad. "And Jesus sat in it with her. [...] Do you see a Savior with Terminator tenderness bypassing the tears of Martha and Mary and, in doing so, telling them and all grievers to buck up and trust? I don't. I don't because of what Jesus does next. He weeps. He sits on the pew between Mary and Martha, puts an arm around each, and sobs. Among the three, a tsunami of sorrow is stirred; a monsoon of tears is released. Tears that reduce to streaks the watercolor conceptions of a cavalier Christ. Jesus weeps. He weeps with them. He weeps for them. He weeps with you. He weeps for you. He weeps so we will know: Mourning is not disbelieving. Flooded eyes don't represent a faithless heart. A person can enter a cemetery Jesus-certain of life after death and still have a Twin Tower crater in the heart. Christ did. He wept, and he knew he was ten minutes from seeing a living Lazarus! And his tears give you permission to shed your own. Grief does not mean you don't trust; it simply means you can't stand the thought of another day without the Jacob or Lazarus of your life. If Jesus gave the love, he understands the tears. So grieve, but don't grieve like those who don't know the rest of this story."

Okay, so I know that was a lot...but I just really loved it. I love hearing that Jesus cried. And He didn't just cry...He wept. There was a "tsunami of sorrow" and a "monsoon of tears". Wow. That's a lot of tears flowing. How...encouraging? No, that's not the right word. How...humanizing? Maybe. It's just good to know that grieving is okay. And that crying doesn't mean that we don't trust God. I think a lot of times when I'm upset and feel like crying, I tell myself not to because it's showing that I don't trust that God will take care of it. That's only half true though. If I just cried for days and days and weeks and months...that would be an entirely different story. That would probably show that I didn't trust God. I don't think that's what Lucado is talking about here, though. Lucado is saying that grieving is not only a part of moving on, but it is a part of understanding Jesus' character. We are made in the image and likeness of Him, afterall. And He cried. So we can cry too. Just not "like those who don't know the rest of this story". :)

This is The Stuff

This song was stuck in my head all day at work today, and I feel like God was using it to speak to me. Here are the words, then I'll explain...

"This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use"

The song is called "This is The Stuff" by Francesca Battistelli, and it really spoke to me today. I had a bit of a crazy day at work. There was a member that got upset with one of my coworkers and decided it would be a good idea to yell about it in front of everyone at Costco. He said something really nasty to my coworker, who was doing nothing wrong. It made me sick to my stomach that someone would say something like that. To make a long story short, the man ended up refunding all his stuff and leaving the store, and I had to put all of his items back. The whole time, I was singing that part of "This is The Stuff". I thought, "This is the stuff that gets under my skin." But I just had to brush it off and get on with the day. Then later I was asked to close the deli department, which is my least favorite department in the entire warehouse. I just really hate it there...for many reasons. Anyway, the person that was supposed to close the deli called off work, so they sent me back there to clean up since I had experience in the department. As annoyed as I was that they asked me to clean back there, I just had to suck it up and do it. Most of the work was done, anyway, so there wasn't a whole lot to do. But that song started going through my head...I thought "This is the stuff that drives me crazy." But I think God was using that song to test me and see if I would let it get to me. Like that line says, "I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing." And that lines right up with what the Lord has been teaching me lately about trust. I just have to realize that when I have crazy days at work, God is trying to teach me something. I may not always realize it right then, but I think it's more beneficial to reflect on it afterwards anyway.

Thank You, Lord, for getting me through the day and being my hope. I do trust that You know exactly what You're doing. Help me not to get wrapped up in the small things that don't matter. Help me to get wrapped up only in Your love and mercy.

More Than Hungry

Psalm 63:
O God, you are my God-- for you I long!
For you my body yearns; for you my soul thirsts,
Like a land parched, lifeless, and without water.
So I look to you in the sanctuary to see your power and glory.
For your love is better than life; my lips offer you worship!

JJ Heller's song "Fly Away"
Stars call me closer
The earth is dragging me down
I want to be more than hungry
I want to live somewhere other than this old gray town

A.W. Tozer's prayer:
O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee;
I long to be filled with longing;
I thirst to be made more thirsty still.
Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed.

Lina and I have noticed lately that these three all have something in common. They all talk about being filled with God. Not just being filled with Him though, but letting Him fill us. They talk about wanting Him to satisfy our hunger and thirst. And then they talk about what will happen when we do let Him fill us. We will see His power and glory!

Lord, let these words be the prayer of my heart tonight. Help me to know what it is like to truly hunger and thirst for you. Amen.